What to do After Failed IUIs when dealing with Diminishing Ovarian Reserve and Male Factor Fertility Issues

“When we’re dealing with fertility issues, we need a time of rest, recovery, and healing.”

Topics Discussed:

• Look deeper and ensure your body is ready for a full round of IVF.
• Take time to allow your body to rest, recover, and heal.
• How to take care of your emotional and mental health.
• Focus on what brings your body joy.

Listen here: What to do After Failed IUIs when dealing with Diminishing Ovarian Reserve and Male Factor Fertility Issues 

Are you looking deeper into your infertility issues than just jumping from one treatment to the next? When everything you’re trying fails, it’s important to look deeper into the root cause of your issues and also allow your body to heal for better chances of healthy eggs.

In this episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, we talk about the things to consider doing when dealing with failed IUIs, diminishing ovarian reserves, and male factor fertility issues. I explain why you need to prepare your body to be confident before going in for IVF for better chances of success.

Listen in to learn the importance of digging deeper into what’s causing your infertility and improving your health first before going in for IVF. You will also learn the importance of focusing your energy on consistently performing activities that bring you joy.

• “The best place to go when dealing with fertility health is looking at your past and where you need to shift things.”

Episode Highlights:

• [3:11] The stressful journey of failed IUIs, 4 chemical pregnancies, and many other treatments.
• [16:23] How she and her husband have transformed into a healthier lifestyle to improve their fertility health.
• [17:33] Why she needs to look deeper into her issues and fully prepare to be confident before going for IVF.
• [24:53] The importance of improving your health first and then the egg quality before going for IVF.
• [32:06] How to dig in and address your past traumas that might be impacting your fertility health.
• [39:32] Shift your energy and focus on the other things that bring you joy.  

🌺 Download your FREE Guide: Top 3 Steps to Maximise Your Fertility That Your Doctor Isn't Talking About

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Full Transcript: 

0:01
Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox from finding fertility.co And I created this podcast to help get you to start thinking outside of the box and realise that your infertility might have nothing to do with your lady bits rooted in functional medicine and personal experience. Finding fertility is all about looking at the whole body and finding the root cause of your infertility. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe or treat any issues of infertility. But what we do is take a holistic approach and improve your diet and your lifestyle to get you steps closer to creating your dream family. Just by being here with me listening to this podcast, you're already going down the right path to making your dreams come true. Let's do this together. Happy Friday, all welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox. And today we have a podcast discovery call. Now what this means and what this is, is a little insight into what I do for prospective clients that want to get to know me a little bit more and how I help them discover the root cause of their fertility issues. So thank you, for those in the community that wanted to come on and share their story and get a little insight into their own journey. There's more information down in the show notes how you can be a part of this. So without further ado, here's today's special guest. Well, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story with us. I know it's a really brave thing to do. Let's start with your fertility journey. And tell us a little bit about what's going on there.

1:56
Okay, well, my fertility journey has started probably about a year and a half ago. And it doesn't really seem like that long compared to some of the fertility journeys that others are going through. But for me, it just seemed very, very long. So we started off with getting just some like basic bloodwork done. And at that point, our doctor had said kind of just suggested that things are okay, now I'm sorry, I'm not like, is it just like for me? Or is it also including a spouse as well?

2:27
Whatever you want to know, whatever you want to share?

2:29
Sure, so my spouse ended up having some like, motility issues. So that's why we were referred to the clinic in our, in our city as well. Yeah, for a fertility clinic. So when we went into the fertility clinic, you know, we heard they had kind of suggested doing IUI is, and they just said based on me being like based on my age, as well as having like, you know, diminished ovarian reserve, the best thing for me would be to do IUI is and then we can kind of just go from there. And based on his like sperm numbers, his mortality was at like 32%. And also like the sperm progressive, or, like that piece of it. It was also a little bit on the lower end. So we started doing IUI. So the first one didn't really go and if I'm giving too much details, please let me know. Oh, you're fine. So in the first one, I didn't really end up going back rate and the his mortality was at 1%. And I guess we didn't really know that. But I think he was on some sort of supplements that really impacted so then the next time we stopped those supplements that were given by our naturopaths to help with fertility, but I think they contain some sort of testosterone or something. And we didn't know that. Testosterone is like a natural birth control for men. That was a bit frustrating. But anyways, there's a good lesson learned. And then for the So then for the second IUI um, I did end up getting a positive pregnancy test, but it turned into a chemical pregnancy like very soon after. And then we literally kept doing IUI like altogether we did nine I know that sounds like a lot and it just sounds kind of crazy. And people like other physicians that I've talked to they're like, why did you do so much I'm like, Well, my doctor just kept recommending them saying okay, because throughout those so then you know, we had another one nothing happened and then the one after that I had another pregnancy which is like a chemical pregnancy and then nothing happened and the next one I had another pregnancy which was a chemical pregnancy. So she was like, I think the process is working. But it's just a matter of finding like a good quality a country like What's your age, it's your age, and that's why you keep having chemical pregnancies. Oh, okay. So, you know, not really knowing much about it at that time. And then, so we did three was just letrozole at five milligrammes from day three to seven, and then the next, the fourth one we did like gonal f, and we did 200 units, and that was four, as well like from day two You onwards, and then the next one was accomplished. And then all the other ones after that were a combination of letrozole and gonal. F. So yeah, so we had like four chemical pregnancies throughout the process. And they just kept the record Oh, just, and then I'm like, can we just do some more testing, I just want to make sure so they ended up doing a,

5:20
I have a HCG diet, I'm sorry, I forgot with the endo that there is a test to check the endometrium with a biopsy just to make sure that you know, there is no sort of inflammation or infection. So that all ruled out, okay. They also did a DNA fragmentation on my husband. And that didn't come back. So his DNA fragmentation was at 42%. And obviously, for IUI, they like it to be at 15%, as it is still as close to, you know, having a natural pregnancy. So, of course, needless to say, it was just devastated. Right when I we heard about this news. But she kept saying, Okay, well, let's try a different method. Now, if you do it this way, where you could do some sort of a, they found like in recent studies, if like the Jackie matory period for males, if it's shorter, then sometimes the DNA fragmentation is a little bit better. So she said, then for him to provide us like, you know, ejaculated home and then provide a sample. So she said, Okay, we'll make sure there's no sexual intercourse, just for him to ejaculate and, and provide a sample after four hours in the clinic. So then it's a second sample that's been used, not the first one. So we did that for like, all the other ones, after we found out about the high DNA fragmentation, which was three additional ones, I think we were already at six by the time that they even offer to do any sort of testing for us. And that was because I kept asking for it. So how do you have known all that before? I probably wouldn't have done all of that. But I mean, it's a journey, I guess. So once we went through and did those ones, and did that, like we just found and, sorry, I should also mention for the other ones, like his sperm count, and his motility numbers, everything was showing fine. So we went in, that's why she kept saying, well, there's no issues. So everything looks fine. Like we shouldn't have to do anything else. So when we were doing the every second day, then the mortality was showing lower again, and so was the sperm morphology. And then the volume was a little bit on the lower end. I mean, obviously, needless to say, if he had just ejaculated four hours prior to that, so that was kind of a little bit on the lower end, but then she kept telling me oh, it's okay. It's a better quality sample. So it'll be good. But I just think the mortality, which is way too low. At that point, at one point, it was like 22, I think. And so yeah, obviously, that didn't work either. So then I decided to take a break from all of this, because I was like, This is too much. We've literally been doing fertility every single month, except for the mindset, I ended up getting assessed and had to go on birth control. And this happened in between, I think we took a month break or something. So this fast forward to like December of this past 2021. And so I was like, Okay, I'm going to take a break. And I'm just going to try to look at maybe IVF options and to see, and our reproductive endocrinologist kept telling us, you know, even for the IVF options, I think that you're not so good of a candidate because you have diminished ovarian reserve. So you might still only get one follicle, which is what I was getting in all the IU eyes. And I think that's why she kept saying, Let's keep doing them because your chances are the same if it's just a one egg minus, of course, like my husband's sample, right, like and all of that for IUI. So that was a little bit

8:44
frustrating. So then I just thought that we were just take a break and then figure out our next steps. So we took a break. On December 16. I got my COVID vaccine booster. And then on December 28, I got my period and then after eight days, I got another period and then after 10 days, I got another period and then after 12 days I got another period so I had like five periods since the vaccine. Because when I reached out and my physician told me at that point, oh, this is very normal for women your age as you approach menopause, like you are going to be getting more periods. Like can I get some lab work or ultrasound DME? No, you don't need to get it done. So anyways, I just I had a breakdown, right? I'm like something's not right, like obviously and then after I realised I think it was just because like a temporary thing from the vaccine. Like that's very common, where people have been getting, you know, some sort of like, you know, issues with their menstruation cycles. So yeah, it was just really really, really frustrating. And like, I've I'm still working on my cycle, so I supposed to go for IVF in February. It's now March. i So February the 10th was my last like, I don't even know if it was a period or whatever you may want to call it at that point. And that was like my fifth one. So almost like every eight to 10 to 12 days, I was getting some bleeding. And then then I haven't gotten I still haven't gotten my period since. So now it's not coming and before it was coming, but I guess I have some yeah, like I got some blood work done. And it just seems like I've been working a lot on myself like positivity, my mindset, mindfulness doing acupuncture, you know, doing some, like Herbes. And I feel like that's just really been helping. So yesterday when I got some blood work done, it seems like I got some blood work done last week. So my FSH has come down, like so that one cycle after my vaccine, it was a 23, which is high. And now it was at nine, but I think what happened is that I Oh, actually, sorry, I also forgot to mention that I ended up like the reason why all this was just so upsetting, because when I got an ultrasound down, it showed that at zero follicles. So then I, you know, reached out to my family doctor and said, Can I get some bloodwork done? Can I please have, you know, figure out what's going on or get an ultrasound done? So it was like zero follicles. So that was devastating. Again, on my grade, I'm in menopause at zero folic my FSH is out the room. It was just very, very, very frustrating. But slowly now my FSH, you know, is now at nine again. And that's kind of what I was seeing like it was it was at 20 something at one point. But you know, ever since then I've been working a lot on everything. And I think I've been able to reduce it down under 10. I mean, which is nine might still not be the best, but it's still good for what I'm going through. So based on my diminished ovarian reserve, so that was good. So yesterday, when I got my bloodwork back, it shows that I finally like with the progesterone, I can tell because it was higher that I finally ovulated my FSH and my LH were a little bit more equal. My FSH had gone down to 4.95. And my estradiol went from 800 to 300. And I was like, Oh, finally. So I haven't ovulated since like November, because that was the last month and then all this was happening. So I think my period will just come shortly now I think it kind of just because it was your follicles perhaps it was just growing and catching up to that. So yeah, it's been a very, very, very stressful journey for me. And it's been hard like I've been focusing on like, I've been taking, you know, like a lot of like opportunity course I've been taking I do doing so much work on like affirmations and like, positivity and stretches and yoga and like, you know, mindfulness and like, you know gratefulness and like all of this. But sometimes when just there's just so much going on, it's really, really, really hard to remain positive. So I just found that to be really stressful. So I'm really happy. I feel like I'm in a better mood today when I got back, because I'm like, finally, I feel like, it'll just be okay. So hopefully within the next week, things kind of get better. But I've been taking, like, so much, you know, like my diets changed. So many supplements, all of that sort of stuff. So yeah, that's kind of like the long version of my fertility journey. So we're looking at hopefully doing IVF in two months now, because I'm waiting for, I need to get my period. And once I get it, I need to have like another one, and then go the next month, because I need to ensure that I have like one regular cycle before I do that. But in the meantime, I'm just focusing on myself and acupuncture and doing all of that. And every time I talk to a physician, he's like, Well, you should have had IBS yesterday. So don't wait any more. But I mean, this is working for me, I feel like I'm in my lab work is in a better position now than it was a year ago, just because of all the work that I'm doing on myself. So sorry, that was kind of a very long answer. Sorry, I think you're on mute.

13:55
For sharing, no, don't worry about being long. Do you mind sharing your age?

14:01
42. I'll be turning 43 in June.

14:04
Okay. So yeah, like once you get over 40 For some reason, the medical system just absolutely freaks the eff out. But as you just say that your your test results, say a completely different story. You know, your age might be going up, but your test results are reversing to a better state. So it's absolutely 100% health over Ah, yeah, many many cases. Yeah. Okay,

14:36
I just want to say one thing as well. Monica is that my AAFC when I first started all this stuff was at like two and right before all this stuff happened to me in my November cycle. I had six follicles as a base count just because of all this work that I've been doing on myself.

14:51
Absolutely. Yeah, I totally 100% agree with that. Okay, so a few things Has your husband changed anything to help improve his sperm?

 15:08
Yes, like everything. So we both are since May of 2020. We both are gluten free, dairy free. No soy, no horn, no alcohol, no caffeine, that sounds like a lot. So and just like not eating any processed foods, like we try to eat like very, very healthy and organic when we can. And then, you know, at times for the items that we don't need to eat organic, then we're okay. But just trying to Yeah, he's changed that. He's also like, we've seen a naturopath so like they have him on some sort of like a plan because she just got some lab work done. And it just showed that, you know, we have a lot of like toxins in our body. So just working on improving those. We started that in October, but I think it's a longer process. And he takes so much vitamin C, like the liposomes version, and it still shows very low, he takes so much vitamin D, and it still shows very low. So I think his body's just not absorbing it. So it's also an acupuncture, and he's also just started on some Chinese herbs as well. But yeah, like he's just amazing. He's willing to just change anything and everything, just whatever, I'll be like, oh, we need to do this. We'll be like, Okay, sure.

16:15
Good. Okay, that's great news. Okay, so there is now a structural issue, if he's not absorbing the vitamin D in the vitamin C.

16:36
There is too with, and I'm not an expert on this, but I just want to bring it up. A lot of the normal ranges are for white Caucasian men. So ethnic men actually need to have completely different ranges. And they absorb, they can absorb things very differently to what the standard textbooks are like. So that's just one thing to think of. And you when I work with a client, and their iron levels are off, or they're not absorbing something, but they are like just slamming the vitamins, we need to get to the root cause of why that is happening. And most of the time, it lies within the stomach. So you can be on this perfect diet, you could be taking all the right supplements, you can be Xin Yoda, right, and your gut lining might not be up to a certain standard to absorb what it needs to be doing. So he's definitely on the right track. But probably a little bit more digging into why instead of just getting prescribed or given more supplements, more Chinese herbes more of this, it's like, that's kind of like throwing darts in the dark. And when you take a functional perspective, and you are already doing a lot of the right things, that's when testing could like really just change the whole game, and give you the right direction of where you're going. So even though a year and a half is a long time, like I don't want to discount the journey. If you look back at when you really started to change things up, it's probably a really short period of time. And it does sound like there was some your chronic issues there. And so it does sometimes just take a little bit longer to heal. And especially if you don't know exactly what you're trying to heal if you're just like giving random things, right. So that would be one step with your husband. And maybe even yourself as well is to look a little bit deeper. Now. This is probably not the news you want to hear. But I'm very open and honest with people that with everything right now, jumping into an IVF cycle in two months is probably not giving yourself the best possible scenario. So when you do IVF you really want to try your hardest obviously we can't control everything. But to be really feel really confident in your body's ability. So you already seeing all these positive, you feel better, you're seeing positive test results better. But with this vaccine and unfortunately what it has done to people is adjust like give their system a little bit of a whack in the face right like Here's a big punch. And usually when this happens, it's because your body, your body has to handle everything that it's given. So whether it's a vaccine or it's, it's a, like a natural occurrence, your body's ability to handle that is kind of a show of, of level of health. So this is why we're seeing some people react to it in a certain way, and some people not and the same thing with getting COVID Naturally, too, right, it's all the same. And that's why no one can have a report that's going to deem everyone the same, because we're also different, and our genetics are really different to so the way you're genetically disposition will have an impact on how you're able to handle these things. So for me from a functional functional fertility standpoint, just to get your cycle back once, or twice, is, is not a good representation of, are you ready to, you know, hop into a full round of IVF. It's really, especially when you are dealing with diminishing ovarian reserve, you really want to just go into that procedure, like super confident. And so really have use your mental and emotional work that you that you've been doing.

21:37
I suggest like just Googling a meditation for making big decisions. So you, someone will guide you through this big decision that you need to make. And what you do is you listen to your body, your body will physically tell you whether or not this is a good decision to go into. So taking the time slowing down. When I work with my older clients, I always remind them they're already 40. Nothing dramatic is gonna change from 42 to 43 to 44. If you were taught all of a sudden going to turn 50, then we would start being like, Okay, time is a little bit precious right now. But I don't know why society literally just ramps up like you should have done IVF two years ago, because you're well, no, like, if we give ourselves that time, we're actually gaining time back because we're healing our body. And we're giving our body the best opportunity to go into these big medical treatments. So even if you took three months, four months before doing a round of IVF, you can really make a difference to the outcome. Because I do feel it does sound like the vaccine just kind of just whacked you off your progress just a little bit. Right. So bow, that's what I would really kind of hone in and try to focus on for yourself and make that decision for yourself. Also, with the stress of the past year and a half, you've like literally got doubled Whammy, right? You're dealing with infertility and COVID. So even just giving yourself a break of like two months, where you literally do not think of anything fertility related, and hopefully COVID Is, is calming down, and we don't have to overthink that as well. And use the practices that you're already putting into place. And just bring that joy and that life back into you. And so when you move forward, you're just better able to make decisions to handle outcomes. Because I think a lot of the time us women really put up this armour, right? We've got it, we're, we're strong enough. We're just gonna get through it and keep going and, you know, nine IUI is within a year and a half is a lot. It's a lot for your body, the drugs that you're using. It's not a lot of time in between to detox and heal. Especially with chemical pregnancies. You know, like a lot of people just put them like a little bit to the side. It's like no, your body was starting that process. So when we're jumping, you know into these medical treatment We are actually, I believe, stealing time from ourselves because our body is just still in this like fight or flight mode just going going, keep going keep going. We're when we're dealing with fertility issues, we need a time of rest, recovery and healing. And remember, it takes three months for an aid to mature. So you want to start really counting that time, from when you feel confident about your body's ability. Right, so your body is now just trying to work its magic to get your periods back your basic hormonal status. So if it's struggling to do that, then it's not really giving a lot of good things to your ovaries. And especially, let's just say the case is you do have a big issue with your AIG, how many eggs you have, you really want to focus on that quality. So getting yourself to a certain standard, then your body then has enough ability to give it to your aches, because remember, it's all about cellular health, and your eggs are one of the largest cells in your body. So it's really getting you performing well first, and then the a quality. And so when you jump into IVF, it's not going to help your a quality.

26:35
Right? It can't do anything for that, it's literally going to grab whatever aches that you're able to produce, match it with the sperm, and then give it back to your body. And so if we're not tackling the root cause of why you are having those chemical pregnancies, which it does sound, obviously the the sperm was a big issue. And maybe before until you started changing your diet and lifestyle, that a quality might have not been as great. But it definitely seems like you guys are moving forward, you're going you're going but jumping into something else, just to save that time, because someone's telling you you're too old is is not always the best decision. So it's really important just to follow that intuition, you know, really take that time to go, do I feel time? Do I feel that? Does that? Is that really real? What they're saying? Do I resignate with that? Or do I feel deeply passionate about just improving my health, and when I get to a certain level, then use the medical assistance, because it might be needed, you know, like a lot of cases do and I don't have any judgement on people in their 40s who are like, I don't want to wait around anymore. You know, like, it's enough, I'm done, I'm ready to be a parent. And that's the one thing IVF can give you his time, because it obviously can collect a year's worth of eggs, you know, hopefully in one in one go. So that's what I would do. From hearing your story. I would dig a little bit deeper. And have you done a gut health test either of you with your practitioner working with?

28:31
Yeah, we are like for him, like gut health came up a lot. So like they just said that there was a lot of environmental toxins. And so glyphosate, which was like very severely high, and for me, and that's like the promoting the lining, and for me BPA came really high, which is so interesting, because like we don't have any glass in this house. We don't I don't even use makeup anymore that has chemicals, but it might have just been in there from before.

28:57
Yeah, yeah. And the glyphosate is so hard. We just did a few podcasts with a few different practitioners about how glyphosate just sneaks in everywhere, you know, into our water system, it's in the ground. It's just a really, really hard thing. You can be really pretty good with everything you're doing and still have levels. So I would say most people are walking around full of glyphosate and BPA gamma is a big one too. But it sounds like you're controlling what you can and it sounds like you have someone who's helping you detox that out. Is there any other concerns from like, like your common or normal health issues that maybe you don't feel like anyone's taking seriously or

29:50
No, like I feel like kinda naturopath is doing you know a good job. She's also like in functional medicine, but I know I understand because you just said all this process takes a lot of time. time but like, it just feels like you know, even though we started in October, we've just done some recent lab work. Like there hasn't been any changes like for him at all. Because like a little bit different, so I don't know, like he's just inhalers like has a lot of constipation issues. BOC I don't know what that is, but she's saying that that's very high, like a support the detoxification promotes, like normal microbiome health. So that's low. The vitamin C is not absorbing, and then the DNA fragmentation, excuse me is like very high. And so I don't know how like even his homeless TCM level is coming up very low.

30:41
Yeah, even with all the changes? Well, there's, there's definitely, I think there's a lot of reverberation, is that no, that's better? Um, there's definitely a root cause of what's going on then. So I'm assuming the gut health tests check for bugs. They check for parasites

31:00
Yeah, he's actually on a parasitic cleanse right now. They I don't know if it was identified. So he's taking a parallel one and for like, it just says, like, for pathogen and toxins, and another one for parasites as well to into strengthen the immune system. So

31:14
right now, yeah, yeah. And so it sounds like he's on the right path, he just kind of has to keep going. Once the parasite cleanse is done, that should greatly improve his gut health and deal with the constipation and and will then be able to make better sperm. So that's for men, it's about three months to so you really want to start the timeline for him when he's feeling 80 to 90%. Better? Because then from that line, it then can produce better sperm. So even rushing with not rushing with IVF, but thinking you do the IVF when he's not close to? And with the sperm with IVF? It's a little bit tricky. I mean, well, they don't unless you're doing ICIC the icy that where they inject the sperm. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, they'll they'll pick the best sperm anyways. So that's like an advantage with the sperm and IVF. So it's really Yeah, focusing in because they can't, they can only collect what eggs they can collect, and they can't tell the quality of the eggs until they start forming embryos. Right? Yeah.

32:42
So yeah, like, I'm not. So do you have any suggestions on like, what you know, because we've gotten those gut tests done, and all of that sort of stuff. So, and I know we're on this like protocol, but I'm not really sure like, what else? Everybody, every time I talk to people, they're like, well, you're doing everything and more, so just don't worry. Like, I could be doing maybe something differently. Yeah.

33:08
I would say they're probably right. You keep on this path with who you chosen to work with. And just you kind of have to let give it time, let everything heal. The things that you can control right now is your mental and emotional health. So, a big part of what I do is really get people to be quite honest about their past, about any trauma, or long term mental emotional health that they've been through. That really got them to where they are, right, the fertility issues, really start maybe 510 years before you even know that you have fertility issues. You know, it's not a case of, you know, for most people, you're born and then that's it, you're gonna have fertility issues, it's diet, it's lifestyle, it's all those things. So looking at your past and really connecting with that and saying, Okay, how did I become Taipei? Why am I such a worrier? Why do I feel like I always have to be achieving why are these things like just consuming my life? And most of the time, there is some point in their past that something got triggered and the love and the worthiness just wasn't there. And so you started doing these people pleasing and being on all the go and stuff. So that's something right now that you can be diving into to I know it's like counterproductive but when you're type A feel like you're doing something

34:58
i Yeah, I'm like the worst For that, I always seem to do something. And I know people just don't focus on fertility. But by doing meditation, that is part of my fertility journey, because I didn't do that before I have to still go to acupuncture after, it's kind of it's so hard because you're trying to still, I'm still reminded of it, I haven't really been doing like a lot of research and all of that, which is great, because I was, I think, going a little bit crazy doing that before. Probably, I'm a very, very, very, very crazy type A personality person.

35:26
Okay, so that's where you can go, like, you need to figure out why. Because the constant going and the constant doing is affecting your adrenals will, and that affects your, you know, your hormones, it all the stress that because you're a type A person and it's hard for you to relax, relax, and and that is impacting the fertility. So the best place to go if you're open and willing to is looking at your past, and where do I need to shift things? Where? Because it's all subconscious mind, right? So where can I dig into my subconscious to start redirecting, that so I could just sit on the couch and read a knowledge No, a book that has nothing to do with mental health or, or fertility, health or anything like that I just read for fun, or I'm able to do the things I used to love doing. Before I got wrapped up into this and not feeling guilty about I'm I'm not being productive in the way society wants me to be productive, and really slowing down. And that is one of the biggest challenges for women who are always on the go, it took me a really long time, and I still struggled to this day with it. So that's where you can really focus your energy. And just trust that you're on the right diet, you have the support with a gut health. And now it's really about controlling what you can. And that's your mental and emotional thoughts, which I think is one of the hardest things. Right, diet can kind of really be easy. But sitting with yourself and getting real with yourself is the hardest part. And you're not alone in being Taipei, I would say 90% of the fertility issue community is that way, and that is a big part of why we're dealing with fertility issues. So yeah, go with that. So you've got your meditation practice, you've got your yoga, you got your acupuncture, but maybe digging a little bit deeper into why you feel you need those in the first place. Right? Why do you need those relaxing, calming things? If those things got taken away from you right now? Would your anxiety and your Taipei go straight up again? You know,

38:01
I think probably right, because, you know, I've been getting that help for like a quality for acupuncture. Yes. But I think it's something to think about, you know, just try to find ways to stay calm, but sometimes challenging for me.

38:16
Yeah, that's your gonna be your biggest thing. Because as much as you do these for a quality, it's all the other things in your body, your adrenals, your thyroid, your gut health, your hormone levels that are affecting the a quality. So you actually need to be doing them for the other parts of your body to have good a quality. So if you have an adrenal function, that you're in adrenal fatigue, if you have leaky gut, if you have thyroid issues, if you're maxed out and your pituitary gland is all over the place, it just can't give the eggs what it needs. And so that's why we shift the focus away from fertility, and start focusing on the other things. So like I had a client dealing with secondary infertility. And it literally she was just stressing yourself out. She had the diet, she was on the right supplementation, she didn't have any gut issues. And she just couldn't get pregnant, even with the assistance of IUI. And she had to learn to just calm down. And it's hard, for sure. But there's plenty of resources out there. Yeah, I mean, obviously, within the fertility formula, my one to one coaching, that's all there, but my blog has loads of tips and tricks. I mean, even I know you're on the email list, but there's a new free PDF downloadable guide that has, you know, lots of really direct places where to go and things, but it's really finding about like, what, what's gonna connect with you, right? I can sit here and say go do yoga, maybe Don't like yoga, maybe it's not your cup of tea, you know, maybe it's a walking meditation. You know, finding the right meditating guide for you finding the right music for you journaling. Maybe right now, it's literally just going out and rollerskating. Right. Like, I love getting on my skateboard. I love getting on my snowboard. So like, those things are like mental meditation. For me, some people love sewing, crafting, cooking, you know, whatever it is, meditation doesn't necessarily have to be sitting on a mat or being in the yoga studio, or getting acupuncture is your vibe. So like, Fine, what brings that elevated up, you know, blasting rap music and shaking your booty, you know, like whatever it is, it can be so crazy i, but whatever that joy brings to you. And that's what all yoga, acupuncture reflexology those are. That's what it does, it stimulates your circulation and brings your vibration up and bring your joy up. So it's a very supportive practices. But if you're not consistently doing that, it's kind of a waste of money. Because that one two week session isn't, isn't going to really fix much. If you're always in a constant state of worry and anxiety and going and doing. Right, you really got to bring those levels dramatically down on a daily basis. You don't have to be perfect. But it's got to be more consistent. Because I know that I used especially reflexology a little bit too much like a bandaid. I wasn't doing the things that I needed to do to really slow down and really connect with myself. And so does that make sense?

41:53
Yeah, that does. So just, um, yeah, like, so I just have a question in your one on one, like coding sessions that you have? Do you kind of are those just to focus on all of that stuff? Or do you kind of just like, if I were to send, like the lab reports for you to take a look at those like, are we able to do like, checking just to see if there's, everything's kind of good based on that, and then continue on that I really like the idea of doing that piece, I think I would really like to add in that additional coaching support.

42:23
Yeah, so I offer two different things. So if you want labs ran or for me to review them to bring them all together, that's definitely one aspect of it. And then the other aspect is, I'm literally like your best friend who's going to tell you the truth. And really just like this, meaning these are what the discovery calls are all about, is really just hone in on those areas that maybe your natural path just hasn't had time to have a discussion about. I mean, sometimes we just talk about how our moms were bitches or how, you know, our school life affected us, you know, like finding those ways and bringing in those modalities to really, you know, get you at your level. So yeah, so it's both like, the coaching is really involved in all areas, the mental and emotional, the physical, the gut health, the diet. And a lot of the times, you know, 99% of my Wonder ones are like yourself, they're super highly educated, they are working with naturopathic doctors, they are doing all the right things. And I don't want to toot my own horn here, but it's just because I've been through it, and you can't buy that experience. And no one should have to buy that experience. But a lot of people that specialise in fertility, if they haven't been through that journey, it just gives you a different lens, because they don't know that mental and emotional stress part of it. And because I've been on my own journey with my mental emotional health, finding my traumas, finding my triggers and all those things, and I'm seeing now a lot is that it's kind of the last thing people want to do. Right? They want to tackle their diet, they they want to do the supplementation, they'll even do the gut health testing, and then it's like okay, let's, let's get deeper. They're like, why? And it is it's it's it's an emotional thing, but I think it's really vital. And that's why mindset is just so key to this journey. Because, yeah, like I say, you can be doing everything right physically, but if you're still mentally and emotionally stressed out to the max, it's it kind of counteracts everything you're physically doing.

44:53
And I think that what you're describing is exactly me right? Just like as soon as I got the ultrasound results back and They just said, Well, you have zero follicles. It's like everything just went down the drain everything that I've been trying hard to do and all of that, because I just think it's not that it's for so I want to do all of this stuff. But I don't think like I don't know if I can fully say I'm like, believing in it, I do it as an activity, believing it, but it's not changing me, right. So I do this meditation everyday. But I still have anxiety. I'm doing this, but I still feel this way. I'm still. So I just I think like working with a coach to kind of figure out if you were I'm doing all of this stuff. But then what exactly what you're saying, Well, why why isn't it working? Like, what are some of those? Like, what are some other gaps that might that perhaps haven't been addressed?

45:34
Yeah, exactly. Even to my

45:37
physical ones, like, I'm not sure if I know a lot of these differences like for my husband, like, you know, when they had stated like, he has like scientific information. So he has like lower DHEA, which sometimes could be like, inflammation, but we don't really have anything in our protocol that's specifically working on that. So there's a lot of physical things like there's like, obviously, his detox, vacation capacity is low. He had like early signs of like, blood sugar imbalance, like adrenal stress, like, you know, there's oestrogen dominance, there was like, you know, all those nutrients that he was low in like vitamin D, protein, magnesium, zinc, and b 12, which are also critical for fertility. So I think that even within that, I don't know if all that stuff is just even focusing on that. But I just feel like a lot, maybe being missed that we could perhaps have an opportunity, especially, I'm okay with waiting, like in just doing it from like, because I guess that's only another month, if we were going to do main, if we're waiting until like June. I'd like to not go to July. But if anything, if we can use that as our three month marker point, that would be it just makes me so nervous. And I know what you're saying. But it's just like, every single time, it's like, I just get so nervous about it when they're just like, oh, you should have had it yesterday, you're too old, it's not gonna work or when you're over and you know, can I turn 43? And then so it's like, I just want to do it at least once before I turn 43. So that I can just, in my mind feel like, okay, it was just in a different because after they're 43, then you're in a different age category. It's like 40 to 42. And then there's 4345. I don't know, I think it's just psychological, perhaps

47:14
massively psychological, it's literally something that they invented, right. And a lot of the time the women that are going in for these procedures are not using holistic system support. So they're putting you in the barrel of people who are actually really sick, and who are really, their chances are going to go down because they're not trying to tackle it in a holistic way. So that's all there. There research, there's all their numbers are on people who are actually sick, right? Like not many people even now are doing holistic things to change things up now is that slowly changing in our results getting better with IVF? Absolutely. And if any IVF clinic has not caught on to the holistic aspect of it, they're crazy. Because they can literally improve their numbers by 30%. By just making having a dietician, you know, a mental emotional coach, getting them on reflexology, and all those things and say we have a three, a three month protocol. And this is what you have to do before we do IVF, their SATs would go through the roof. So you got to take yourself out of that barrel. You're not in, you're not that woman anymore. You're you're very, very different to a lot of those women. So you got to keep reminding yourself that and your age is literally a number on a piece of paper right now. You know, we're not talking about your 50s We're not talking about your 60s. So that's something definitely to work on for yourself. And there's anyone can Google it. It's called judge your neighbours worksheet, and I get women to fill it in with their age. And it's basically having like, a conversation about how your age is, is not the enemy. And that it's a it's a lie, that it's your age that's causing these issues. Okay, is it a factor, it might be a factor, it's not the only factor. So, so yeah. But I think you are on the right track. I think that if you just take some time, give yourself some meditation time about these big decisions that your body will tell you where to go. And you know, your, your process through the rest of your journey will just be a little bit less stressful. Because remember all of these failed attempts, you are not going to be behaving living that way anymore. Right? So I have a one to one client right now. She's been trying for eight years never got pregnant. And she's told me her backstory, I said, well guess what this is year one of you trying to conceive. Because everything that you were doing before was not serving your highest purpose. And now you're doing all these things. So just put on the clock one year, year one. And you'll see that you'll have a much easier time moving forward. And that's what people need to think we need to get out of the oval, I've been trying this long, it's like no mark your calendar from when you decided that you were going to be empowered, and start changing your situation. That's how long you've been actually trying

50:52
their diet we've been trying for a while, but I think you've even been trying all this meditation stuff. But as I'm telling you, I just don't feel like it's working. things not work.

51:02
Yeah, it's hard. You know, a lot of gurus out there. Wanna just like tell you put some meditation in and it will change your life. And it's like, yeah, you know, but it's like running a marathon, you have to train. And you have to be consistent, and you have to find the right things that you're connecting with. And that's a lot of trial and error sometimes. And then once you feel like, once you walk away from that first meditation, or whatever it is, and you, you feel it through your body, the joy, you're like, Okay, I get this now. And now. Now I find I found my thing and it will change, you'll grow out of things, and then you'll start trying new things. So, so yeah. Well, I hope you got a lot of good paths to go down from this discussion. Thank you once again for joining me and sharing your story. I hope our listeners really have benefited from it too. And my fingers are cross for you keep in touch.

52:08
Thank you so much.

52:12
Thank you once again for tuning in to the finding fertility podcast. If you're loving this podcast, please leave us a rating in review and let us know how this podcast is supporting you to get steps closer to creating your dream family. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast.

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Monica

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Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.