Week 1: Infertility & IVF Burnout, Control & the Slow Shifts That Actually Change Everything
Week 1: Noticing Where Control Hides – Just becoming aware of those subtle control patterns.
There is a season in this journey that does not come with a clear label.
It is not the crisis.
It is not the breaking point.
It is not the big decision.
It is the in between.
The part where you are still showing up, still doing the things, still holding it together.
But something inside you has started to tire of the constant managing.
Not in a dramatic way.
In a quiet, honest one.
Your body is not failing.
It is communicating.
You might feel it in how quickly your jaw tightens.
How often your shoulders creep up.
How planning feels automatic, even when nothing is wrong.
This is not because you are controlling.
It is because control once worked.
It kept you safe.
It kept you functional.
It kept disappointment at a manageable distance.
So you learned to stay alert.
To stay ahead.
To stay organized.
To stay informed.
Highly capable women often do.
Especially in fertility.
Especially after IVF.
Especially after your body has surprised you in ways you did not expect.
The nervous system adapts beautifully.
And sometimes expensively.
There comes a point where the issue is no longer what you are doing.
It is how tightly you are holding yourself while you do it.
This is the part no one glamorizes.
The small internal negotiations.
The subtle bracing before appointments.
The way hope gets managed instead of felt.
It does not look like burnout.
It looks like responsibility.
And yet, something begins to soften when you stop trying to manage the moment you are already in.
Not because you made a big change.
But because you noticed.
The noticing is almost boring.
Almost pointless.
Easy to dismiss.
And that is why it matters.
It shows up in ordinary places.
In the pause before responding.
In the breath you do not rush.
In the moment you realize you are pushing when nothing is actually required.
These are not breakthroughs.
They are micro shifts.
Small enough to be ignored.
Powerful enough to change your internal orientation.
This is where the nervous system begins to trust again.
Not because life is perfect.
But because you are no longer fighting your own body.
You stop proving.
You stop bracing.
You stop performing resilience.
And without forcing anything, something reorganizes.
Your energy becomes less scattered.
Your effort becomes less sharp.
Your inner world feels a little more spacious.
This is not about doing less.
It is about doing without the constant edge.
Fertility responds to this kind of safety.
So does healing.
So does life.
Nothing here needs to be rushed.
Nothing needs to be announced.
Nothing needs to be fixed.
Just the quiet recognition that you do not need to manage every moment to be okay inside it.
Let that land.
Let that be enough.
No ending.
No direction.
Just space.
Listen Now: Infertility & IVF Burnout, Control & the Slow Shifts That Actually Change Everything
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together.
01:05
of Finding Fertility. I am so honored you are here with me becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. This is week one of our gentle journey together to come to the realization that you are the ultimate creator of your reality, but with practical, mundane action steps that are going to feel
01:34
so slow and so pointless. I can promise you when you start doing this work, this is where true shifts happen. This week is noticing where control hides your to-do list and beyond. The invitation for this week is to notice one area of your life where you feel that urge to control it all. I want you to take a peek.
02:03
I want you to start with your to-do list. Maybe it's your fertility to-do list, maybe it's your work to-do list, maybe it's your holistic wellbeing to-do list. How are you controlling your life so you get the outcome? That's really your heart's desire. Being that ultimate observer of yourself with no judgment.
02:27
Set a reminder on your phone every three hours or put a sticky note up where you work, on your car. I want you to just be hyper aware of how you're controlling your life, how you plan your day, organize your home, tackle that to-do list. Where is that familiar urge to control everything? Or the thing that you have
02:57
put the most importance on. And I want you to ask yourself in this control, does it actually set your soul on fire? Or are you doing things because you think you should? Or because you've been told that this is what's going to get you to your ultimate destination? I want you to remember that this is not about judging yourself or changing anything right away.
03:26
It's about bringing a new level of awareness of how you move through your day. Because the truth is, it's the frequency behind the doing that matters. When you start to notice where you're pushing from a place of I should, because if I do this, if I control this, if I micromanage this, I'll get what I want.
03:54
rather than a place of, I'm inspired, this feels good to me, it lights up my soul. That's what we're looking for. That's what we need to notice to then be able to understand why we're doing it and how we can lovingly shift that. Whether it be a frequency, whether it be a stuck emotion, whether it be a habit.
04:24
This is where you are going to open the door to real transformation. So that's it for this week. I want you to be curious, become the ultimate observer, see what comes up. And I am going to be posting on social media, Instagram, TikTok, and Substack.
04:49
I want you to be engaged and if you are so inclined, you can even DM me on social media or hit me up on email and let me know. What have you noticed with radical honesty without judgment? Because once you start judging yourself, that's how you end up in the loop again and see if you can soften a little bit. So the next six days, you got the weekend coming up.
05:19
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then Friday, I'm gonna release week two. And you are going to, with this newfound awareness, understand the illusion of control as safety and why you do it and recognize the moments where you're trying to control something because it feels safe. So this is what it's going to lead up to.
05:47
There's a method in this mundane-ness, in this slowness. Just remember your old ways of doing things, the quickness, the overanalyzing. If it worked, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. Do your future self a favor and get slow, get noticing, become aware with grace and compassion for yourself. I'll see you next Friday.
06:15
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below.
06:42
And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need.
