Truth #8: What If the Pause Is the Portal to Fertility Success During IVF & Infertility?

Monica is guiding you through a 10-week deep dive into these ten truths, peeling back the layers of chaos with practical tools, empowering insights, and her real-life experiences. Whether you’re feeling stuck in your fertility journey or wrestling with overwhelm and doubt in another area of life, these conversations offer a roadmap to healing and transformation. Tune in to the Finding Fertility Podcast and blog for more real talk, actionable steps, and the space to create the life you’ve been working so hard to build.

Why Grief Isn’t Failure: The Raw Truth About Infertility and Healing

Truth # 8: Refusing to Slow Down
Slowing down feels like a risk to Mabel—what if she misses something? But the constant go-go-go is keeping her from finding clarity and alignment.

The sun was barely up, but Mabel was already halfway through her second to-do list. The laundry buzzed. Supplements stood at attention on the kitchen counter like little soldiers. Her browser had seven fertility tabs open—research, articles, maybe one TikTok of someone swearing castor oil was the missing miracle.

She didn’t notice she was out of breath until her hand started trembling holding her morning smoothie.

"Oh, come on," she muttered. "Not today."

But her body didn’t care.

By noon, her cycle still hadn’t started. Her throat tickled. A headache pulsed behind her eyes.

Monique, always one to pop in uninvited, made her entrance.

"You ignoring the memo again, babe? Your body’s screaming SLOW. THE. F***. DOWN."

Mabel rolled her eyes and flopped onto the couch.

She stared at the ceiling. No Zoom call today. No Monica to mirror back the truth.

This time, she had to do it herself.

She grabbed her journal, but paused.
No distractions.
No scrolling.
No Googling.
Just radical honesty.

She placed a hand on her heart, the other on her belly, and closed her eyes.

“What part of me is running the show right now?” she whispered.

The answer came like a thunderclap.

The panicked part. The part that believed if she didn’t keep going, she’d fall behind. That if she stopped, everything would fall apart.

“What are you afraid of?” she asked that part.

It whispered, “That if I don’t keep doing, I’ll be forgotten. Left behind. That this won’t happen for me.”

Her chest tightened. The emotion was loud now. Hot. Anxious.
Color: red.
Location: right behind her breastbone.

She drew a slow figure 8 inside her head.
Left brain to right brain, again and again.
Then front to back, front to back.
Finally, she dropped it into her heart.

Her breath softened, and her nervous system caught up.

“What if the pause is the portal?” she asked. “What if this forced stillness is exactly what I need?”

Tears prickled her eyes.

She picked up her pen and let the words pour out.

Dear Body,
I’m sorry for how fast I’ve been going.
I know you’re tired.
I know you’ve been whispering, and I kept brushing you off.
I didn’t mean to override you.
I just thought if I kept doing everything, I’d finally be enough.
But today I’m listening.
You don’t need to scream anymore.
I’m here.
I’m slowing down.
I trust you.

Then, without effort, the response came.

Dear Mabel,
Thank you for finally hearing me.
I don’t need more hustle.
I need more presence.
I need joy.
I need breath.
I need space to heal.
You’ve always been enough.
Let’s rest.

Her heart softened.

And then came the mirror question.
“Would I want my future baby to live like this?”

No.
No, she wouldn’t want her baby waking in panic.
No, she wouldn’t want them tying their worth to their output.
No, she wouldn’t want them scared of slowing down.
So why was she modeling it now?

She sat with it. Felt it. Let the guilt rise. Then shifted it.

She closed her eyes again and moved through the familiar process.
Where is this pressure living in my body?
Chest.
Color?
Ashy gray.
What do I want to feel instead?
Warmth. Safety. Softness.
She chose rose gold.

I am allowed to rest. I am allowed to pause. I am allowed to trust.

She breathed that frequency in, letting it wash over her.

And then, with one final exhale, she whispered,
“If I wouldn’t raise my baby like this, I’m done raising myself this way.”

Slowness.
Stillness.
And the radical honesty to finally say:
“I’ve been running. But today, I stop. Today, I come home.”

📱 Mabel → Monica
💬 Hey… just wanted to tell you something. No Zoom today. No Monique intervention. Just me, my journal, and a whole lot of honesty.
💬 I caught myself spiraling—again. Supplements, scrolling, trying to "figure it out." But this time? I stopped. I actually stopped. I did the work you taught me.
💬 Checked in. Got still. Figured out which part of me was running the show. She was terrified. And exhausted. So I let her speak. I journaled. I cried. I rested.
💬 And the wildest thing? My body… it wrote back.
💬 Like, full-on Dear-Mabel energy. Turns out, she’s been waiting on me to listen. 🙃

📲 Monica → Mabel
💬 OH. MY. NERVOUS SYSTEM. This is massive, Mabel.
💬 No one prompted you. No one held your hand. You chose to pause. You chose to listen. That’s what true integration looks like.
💬 You’re not “starting over”—you’re finally moving forward. In the only direction that actually matters: inward.
💬 This is how we rewire. Not with one giant moment, but with thousands of micro-decisions to do something different.
💬 You’re creating new neural pathways. You’re shifting your baseline. You’re showing your body—hey, we don’t live in panic anymore.
💬 Honestly? This is where coherence starts. Not in the protocols. Not in the plans. But right here—in the pause.
💬 I’m so proud of you. But more importantly? I hope you’re proud of you.

📱 Mabel → Monica
💬 I am proud of myself. Like… actually proud. Not “I checked everything off my list” proud—soul proud.
💬 Thank you for giving me these tools, Monica. I really thought we had worked through all this already, but you were right. I remembered what you said—it’s one micro-step at a time.
💬 And today? I finally took one.

📲 Monica → Mabel
💬 YESSSS. That’s it. That’s everything.
💬 Energetic shifts are real. They’re potent. Sometimes they come like lightning—but the ones that change your life? They sneak in like whispers.
💬 They happen in the moments no one else sees.
When you choose to journal instead of spiral.
When you close your eyes and feel instead of fix.
When you mother yourself instead of abandon yourself in panic.
💬 That’s the mundane magic I always talk about. That’s where the rewiring happens.
💬 It’s not about staying in the “high vibe” forever. It’s about radical responsibility—catching yourself when you slip into old patterns and gently, consistently choosing a new way.
💬 Fire the old pathways. Wire the new ones. Again. And again. And again.
💬 Because that’s not just healing. That’s identity transformation.
💬 And Mabel—you’re doing it. One choice at a time.

Listen to the Podcast: Still Stuck in InFertility & IVF Burnout? The Subtle Shift That Changes Everything

 Truth #7: From Overthinking to Inner Knowing

Truth # 6: Attachment to Old Identities

Truth # 5: Fear of Success

Truth # 4: Mabel's Buried Emotional Baggage

Truth # 3: Mable's Hustle Trap: Put the To-Do List Down

Truth # 2: Overthinking, Worry & Fear: How Mabel Found Peace in Her Thoughts

Truth # 1: The Illusion of Control

Grieving Together: 10 Things Monica Sees in Mabel’s Journey That Are Causing Unnecessary Chaos

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Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨