Week 11: Subconscious Blocks: The Frequency of “I’m Running Out of Time” During Infertility
There is a specific kind of exhaustion that does not come from doing too much. It comes from believing you are behind.
Behind where you thought you would be.
Behind your friends.
Behind your own timeline.
Behind the version of yourself who “should” already be a mother by now.
It is quiet but constant. It hums underneath your fertility journey. It shapes your decisions before you even realize a decision is being made. And when fertility burnout sets in it rarely feels dramatic. It feels like urgency. It feels like pressure. It feels like if you slow down even for a second everything will fall apart.
You tell yourself it is about age. About egg quality. About statistics. About IVF timelines. But if you are honest it is about something deeper.
It is about time pressure.
The Story of Being Behind
No one teaches you how loud the story of being behind can become.
It does not scream. It whispers. It sounds like this:
I should be further by now.
I do not have time to waste.
If this does not work soon what will I do.
I need to hurry.
That whisper becomes a frequency in your body. It changes your breath. It changes your sleep. It changes the way you make decisions. You start saying yes faster. You start researching more. You start scheduling appointments before you have even processed the last one.
Fertility burnout is not always about doing too much physically. Sometimes it is about never allowing your nervous system to feel safe in slowness.
And that is hard to hear.
Because slowness feels irresponsible when you believe your clock is ticking.
IVF Trauma and Urgency
If you have walked through IVF trauma you know the rhythm of deadlines.
Injection times. Monitoring appointments. Retrieval days. Transfer dates. Two week waits.
There are real timelines in fertility treatment. That is true.
But what often lingers long after the procedure is the internal urgency. The body learns that everything is high stakes. That every decision must be made immediately. That waiting equals danger.
Your nervous system does not distinguish between a scheduled transfer and a story about being too old. It only feels pressure.
And when you live in that pressure long enough your entire mindset shifts. You stop living in the present moment and start living in a future that has not happened yet. Or you live in the past replaying what failed.
That constant future racing is anxiety. That constant past replaying is fear.
Neither of them is presence.
You can be tracking your gut health. You can be doing all the supplements. You can be working on subconscious healing. And still be vibrating at the frequency of hurry.
That frequency matters more than most women realize.
The Frequency of Time Anxiety
There is a difference between a calendar deadline and an internal belief that you are running out of time.
One is practical. The other is existential.
Time anxiety shows up in subtle ways. You feel rushed when making a choice about treatment. You struggle to sit with uncertainty for more than a few hours. You think about motherhood while brushing your teeth and feel a wave of pressure in your chest.
You might even notice that rest feels impossible. Not because you are busy but because slowing down makes the story louder.
When you finally pause the thought creeps in. What if I am wasting precious time.
So you move again. You research again. You plan again.
This is how fertility burnout becomes your normal state.
It is not just physical depletion. It is the emotional strain of believing you must outrun something invisible.
Generational Overdoing
The story of being behind did not start with you.
How many generations of women were praised for overdoing. For sacrificing. For pushing through. For never slowing down.
How many were told that their value was tied to productivity and motherhood and doing it all well.
You inherited that frequency long before you ever tried to conceive.
So when fertility challenges arise the old pattern activates. Do more. Fix it. Hurry. Control it.
But here is the uncomfortable truth.
The actual shift often looks like doing less.
It looks like letting your nervous system feel safe in slowness. It looks like noticing the story without immediately reacting to it. It looks like pausing before making the next decision.
It does not feel heroic. It feels almost irresponsible at first.
And yet the moment you notice the story it loses some of its authority.
You are not required to answer it immediately. You are not required to fix it. You are allowed to observe it.
Am I actually behind.
Or am I racing in the future and dragging the past with me.
That question alone can soften something in the body.
Emotional Healing Is Not a Race
Emotional healing does not respond to pressure.
Subconscious blocks do not dissolve because you threaten them with deadlines.
If anything they tighten.
You cannot use the same old story to create a new one. You cannot bully yourself into calm. You cannot force your frequency into alignment through control.
You can notice.
You can feel the breath shorten. You can feel the chest tighten. You can watch how quickly you want to decide something just to escape discomfort.
And in that noticing something shifts.
You might not choose this timing. You might not like it. You might wish your fertility journey looked completely different.
But fighting time has never created peace.
Fertility burnout softens when you stop living as if you are late to your own life.
That does not mean you ignore medical support. It does not mean you pretend age does not exist. It means you stop allowing the internal story of hurry to dictate every choice.
There is a steadiness available to you that does not depend on outcomes.
And it often begins with something simple.
Noticing the whisper.
Letting it speak.
And choosing not to obey it.
You may not feel instantly calm. You may still feel pressure. But you will have shifted the frequency just by recognizing the pattern.
You are not required to win a race that no one started.
And maybe the deeper work is realizing that life was never a countdown clock.
It was presence all along.
Listen Now: Subconscious Blocks: The Frequency of “I’m Running Out of Time” During Infertility
Week 12: Frequency Shifts for Women Tired of Carrying Infertility
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together.
01:03
Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Fighting Fertility. I am completely honored you are here with me, becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. You have done some amazing work. If you have been here from week one, we are now on week 11. So that is 10 weeks of just super awareness of what is really going on with the control patterns and the overdoing.
01:29
So I really truly hope that 10 weeks, it goes by quicker than you think. Taking those small action steps and gaining that awareness and seeing how you actually operate and how you now can move into the doing, the releasing, the surrender is so amazing and I'm super excited for you. The next five weeks is a big one for fertility. It's releasing that time pressure.
01:58
So hopefully noticing your control patterns and the overdoing and being able to step into more of an action phase of building those new neurons with the physical actions that you need to do, which you don't have to do anything. This is the kind of weird thing. The actual doing is not doing anything at all. So it's the complete opposite of how you're patterning. And that's one of the hardest things to do in a fertility journey as a woman.
02:28
because these patterns run not only so deep in your life, but your mother's life, your grandmother's life. Like how many generations back of the overdoing did us women inherit? So slowly but surely you are gonna see that you have changed enough to let your nervous system feel safe in the slowness. And that is the doing, that is the work.
02:54
And releasing the time pressure is going to be more so of getting into the mind and really seeing the stories and the silent stress that you feel. Getting into week 11, where this new phase is all about time, but not clock time, not schedules or deadlines, that internal sense of being behind.
03:24
And this is so thick in the fertility journey, but I will tell you if you do not take control of this control pattern now, it follows you into motherhood, into business. It just follows you everywhere. And I have to constantly remind myself that I am not in a race. I'm not in a long distance marathon. I'm not in a sprint. This is life. And I do not have to get anything done by a deadline.
03:53
And this is for the broad sense of life, right? Like, of course, if you have a deadline at work that needs to be done, yes. If you have an IVF scheduled, deadlines. If you're catching a plane, there's a deadline. But when you become the observer of your life, you'll start seeing there are no deadlines. I've got to hurry up. I've got to do this. And it's just like, no, I don't. So this week, we're simply noticing one of the most
04:20
powerful stories that shape your choices, the stories of being behind where you thought you'd by now, especially in motherhood, where you plan to be, those expectations, right? The expectations are the things that mess us up the most, and behind where you believe you should be by now. And those stories don't shout.
04:43
Like I said, you don't even really notice them in your life until you become that ultimate observer. They just silently whisper and hum and vibrate in the background. This is your frequency, but they show up when the pressure is on, when you really feel like your clock is ticking and it feels like there just isn't enough time to slow down and do
05:13
the real true embodiment work that can move the needle for you so much quicker than any kind of radical schedule that we're all addicted to. So becoming the observer when those stories appear and how the body responds is going to be a game changer. What does your breath do? How do your decision
05:43
Like does, when it's time to make a decision, do you feel comfortable with making that decision in 24 hours, 48 hours, three days a week? Or do you feel like that decision has to be made within the hour? Do you feel like going back to what we just uncovered the last 10 weeks, you just feel like rest feels impossible? So I want you to notice this week, when that story arises, what happens?
06:12
Notice what your body does. Notice how it changes your pace. Notice how quickly it pushes you into the motion. Notice how often it shows up for you. And your reminder to put on your little sticky note around your house or your like little affirmation this week if you're wearing a piece of jewelry, ask yourself, am I behind or am I racing in the future, stuck in the past?
06:42
Or am I being present? Because when you are racing for the future, that's anxiety. You're living in the future stories that you're making up. You're making them up. If you're living in the past and you are taking all the evidence of what's happened in the past to create those future stories, I'm running out of time. It's never gonna work. That didn't work. So why would this work? You're not being present. You're just not here going, yeah, that's...
07:11
that this is what could happen in the future and this is what's happened in the past, but it does not dictate how I'm going to be now. So remember, you don't have to answer yourself. If you're a few steps ahead, if you're inside fertile energetics or dreams and you have gained some of these or grasped some of these concepts and you are like, I'm ready for that next phase, take that action. If you're not, you don't have to answer, just pause, just observe.
07:41
Because the moment you notice the story, it's lost some of its authority. You've already changed the frequency of it when you recognize it for what it is. Because now you can start doing the quote unquote work of kicking yourself out of that damn story. I'm not out of time. I have perfect timing. Now, did I choose this perfect timing? Absolutely not.
08:08
I am going to accept it for what it is because I cannot change it. I cannot use the same old damn story and make a new one. And that will be enough for now. So next week, we're going to stay with time pressure, but we're going to look at where these stories came from and why it feels so convincing. So have a beautiful Friday, have a wonderful week, and we will see you next Friday for...
08:38
Week 12. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below.
09:07
And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.
