How to Break Free from Overthinking and Hustle Energy During IVF & Infertility

Finding Fertility

How to Break Free from Overthinking and Hustle Energy During IVF & Infertility

21:49

 

Scattered Priorities and the Hidden Struggles of Your Fertility Journey

If you have ever felt like you are doing all the right things on your fertility journey but still spinning your wheels, you are not alone. Underneath the protocols, supplements, and carefully planned timelines, there might be a deeper issue running the show: scattered priorities.

In this week's episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, we dive deep into one of the sneakiest ways energy leaks happen during fertility struggles and IVF: thinking we have slowed down while still sprinting internally. If you have ever told yourself you are "resting" while mentally planning your next five fertility protocols, this is for you.

Scattered priorities can quietly sabotage your subconscious healing and create emotional burnout faster than any failed cycle or disappointing lab report. When your energy is split between doing all the things and chasing the perfect plan, you are reinforcing the subconscious belief that you are not enough unless you are hustling. And that belief? It is what keeps the nervous system trapped in survival mode — not exactly the thriving environment your future baby is hoping for.

Why Fertility Burnout Happens Even When You Are "Resting"

Calm is not clarity if you are still performing inside.
You can quit the hustle and still be the hustler.

One of the biggest mind traps on the fertility journey is thinking that if you stop physically overdoing it, you are fully surrendering. But emotional healing is about more than slowing your physical body. It is about rewiring the subconscious patterns that still drive overthinking, proving, and perfectionism. True subconscious healing happens when you allow yourself to be present without constantly planning, fixing, or researching.

In this episode, I shared the story of Mabel meeting her soul baby during a dream — a symbolic moment where she finally stepped into energetic alignment and chose presence over performance. That choice is available to you too, and it does not require another supplement, another specialist, or another stacked calendar. It requires a shift in frequency, not just actions.

The Energy Behind Your Habits Matters

One of the biggest takeaways from today's conversation is understanding that even your "healthy" habits can become fear-based if they are rooted in lack. You might be taking thirty supplements a day, eating a perfect fertility diet, and doing all the "right" things, but if the energy behind those actions is fear, anxiety, or scarcity, you are still feeding the subconscious blocks that hold you back.

Your fertility journey is not a checklist.
It is a frequency shift.
It is a coherence creation.
It is a radical act of trusting yourself again.

How to Rewire and Move Toward Healing

So how do you start moving differently? It is not about getting it perfect. It is about showing up consistently for yourself, noticing the patterns that are rooted in fear, and gently choosing a different response. Over and over again.

Ask yourself powerful questions like:

• Where am I still trying to earn the very thing I am already worthy of?

• What parts of my routine are truly aligned, and which are fear-based?

• How can I mother myself the way I dream of mothering my child?

This type of emotional and mindset healing is what creates a vibrant foundation for fertility. It is what moves you from chronic survival mode into a state of thriving, where your gut health, your emotional health, and your reproductive health can finally work together in harmony.

And let us be honest — your soul baby is not asking for a perfect version of you. They are rooting for the you who knows her worth, honors her body, and trusts the timing even when it feels uncomfortable.

Your Dreams Are Already on Their Way

If you are willing to move from scattered priorities into soul-led coherence, you are not just improving your fertility outcomes. You are preparing yourself to mother your child from a place of wholeness, not exhaustion.

The truth is, your dreams are not waiting on another plan, another protocol, or another specialist. They are waiting for you to come home to yourself.

And that shift?
It changes everything. 

We’re Doing This Together 💚
Monica

Listen to the Podcast: How to Break Free from Overthinking and Hustle Energy During IVF & Infertility 

Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

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Full Transcript:

00:00
Hello, beautiful, and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.

00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's...

00:34
natural power to get and stay pregnant. Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes

01:01
holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I am so honored you are here with me, becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. In today's episode, it's tender, it's bold, it's real because we are diving into truth number nine, scattered priorities during fertility struggles, IVF, you know, the journey.

01:30
It's the sneaky way that we think we've slowed down, but the truth is we're still sprinting on the inside. If you guys have not read this week's number nine truth over on the blog or sub stack, please go read it. Mabel actually has one of the most beautiful dreams she can have meeting her soul baby and really coming in to alignment.

02:00
with, you know, stepping out and really getting into what truly matters in this journey. And yes, everything is, everyone's journey is different, right? We are going to have different priorities, but the magic in this portion of the series is that you truly see Mabel making a concrete choice to start moving

02:29
differently because she got really radically honest with herself and she knew she felt off. She knew she was running those old patterns that just keep creeping in there because that's what your nervous system is wired to do and even though we're shifting energy, we're changing emotions, we're doing all these things, we have to continuously show up for ourselves in a different way, in alignment, in coherence to

02:59
rewire those neurons, right? Going back to the scientific part, the neurons that fire wire together, and that only happens with consistency. Okay, so here are some three hard truths that you might completely resonate with. Calm isn't clarity if you're still performing inside. You can quit the hustle and still be the hustler.

03:26
And most of us are doing exactly that. We're not running around anymore, but we're still trying to earn our dream. You don't need another plan. You need presence. This is something that I actually see in one of my one-to-one clients is that she's so far into the future that the, like the distortion

03:54
the reality she is trying to create Well, okay, let me say it this way This is a better way to say it the reality she's trying to create because she's so like far off in the future is getting distorted Because she's not even close to being present your baby. Remember is not waiting for perfection Your baby is waiting for you to stop abandoning yourself in the name of productivity

04:24
And once again, this is not about perfection. This isn't about doing everything right. It's about becoming someone who doesn't have to prove she's worthy. And remember, this isn't about doing everything right. It's about becoming someone who doesn't need to prove she's worthy of having the things she desires most. It's all about embodying the energy now that you want to raise your future baby in. And that's the shift.

04:52
that's going to change everything for you. So as you let this land, I want you to find a quiet moment and listen to yourself, to the answers that come up in your body, in your thoughts, in your feelings when I ask you these questions, okay? I want you to let them echo in your field.

05:23
Am I still trying to earn the very thing I'm already worthy of?

05:31
whether it's through strict protocols or being perfectly surrendered. Yes, even that's a performance sometimes. Where are you still trying to prove yourself? What would it look like to mother myself in the way I dream of mothering my child? Because if you wouldn't want your baby to live in guilt, over-functioning, self-abandonment, why are you still doing that to yourself?

06:00
and which part of my daily routine are truly aligned and which parts are still rooted in fear. This came up in, oh man, I first launched the Dreams program and was in group coaching sessions, I had a client, and I know you're gonna relate to this, taking so many supplements.

06:28
and she had the realization that over half of them were a fear-based kind of protocol. Well, if I stop taking this supplement, what if that was the one supplement that was going to do the trick? I can hand on heart tell you that that one supplement isn't going to be the tipping point. One supplements just don't work like that. They're not like medication where if you

06:57
don't take them for a day or two, they don't quote unquote work and you your body doesn't need the perfect supplement regime every single day anyways. Medication is different especially let's say thyroid medication. You miss a day or two of your thyroid medication you are gonna feel that they're completely different. So let's be honest some of our even our healthy habits it might be keeping you stuck and you're coming from lack.

07:25
and that's not the energy we are now going to be moving forward in and remember, I know sometimes I can be really triggering because that's I feel like what I've been put on this earth to do is to be that mirror, that reflection and when those strong emotions come up instead of blaming someone else, okay? Blame me?

07:53
is really looking in to your inner self and going, okay, what is that exposing? Because the reality is I'm not saying anything hurtful. I'm not saying anything mean. And this is the same on the internet, right? When you see something that's so triggering to you, unless someone is like literally being an asshole, look.

08:21
at what that's trying to show you. What is that bringing up? Because this is all about liberation. This is where the radical responsibility is a game changer. If you can really take those moments of heated elevation, whether it be anger, sadness, annoyance, frustration, and take a really good inner look to understand where that's coming from. And once again,

08:47
it's not like oh I was angry so I need to go do like a five hour meditation no like sometimes sometimes right like I've had anger in my life in the last year that took weeks to get through because it was so deep and such a big thing where there's other times I've seen my anger and I've been like oh okay well that's like literally a story I've just made up in my head

09:12
Thank you for trying to keep me safe, nervous system, copy, delete, like move on with the day. So once you have this ability to radically show up for yourself and what is moving, what frequencies, what emotions, what old patterns are there, that's how you are going to get into that coherence, into that alignment. And the only way to do that is consistently show up for yourself.

09:39
And on another note with that, when you continuously do that, that's when you're starting to match the frequency where your dreams can actually become your reality. So I hope that this has sparked a little fire that you can work with. And if you are realizing that even in the midst of all the chaos going on,

10:07
all the not enoughness energy, I've got to do everything perfectly that you can start piece by piece creating that new reality for yourself because in next week's episode, truth number 10, comfort in the chaos, here's the big kicker. Sometimes we've been in survival mode for so long even before our fertility journey because remember

10:35
you are only running the same programs that you were running before fertility kicked in. And so becoming or going into a place of peace actually feels terrifying. It feels uncomfortable. It was actually this morning. I try to watch the sunrise every morning if it fits into my schedule. And I had this thought to myself that

11:05
And no one prepares you for the mundane-ness when you have it all figured out. Now, that's not me saying that I've figured life out and now I just get to move with ease. Absolutely not. I'm still living a human experience. I'm still going to be working through my own BS and BS that comes up and world events and all that kind of stuff. But there...

11:32
Right now, in my reality, there is not another piece of knowledge I need to collect to be the person that I want to be. Now that might change in the future, but right now, and for someone who was, was, we're going to use past tense here, was so type A, so in search of knowledge, so seeking my worth of doing, doing, that is just boring.

12:02
and not fun. And if you're reading this series, I think it was this week where Mabel sat underneath the tree, sometimes they blend together, but I do now take myself out. have many gorgeous trees here in Hawaii that I can sit underneath, but there's this one that every time I walked by it, I was like, man, that looks like the perfect just sit underneath me tree. has like this trunk that kind of

12:32
is like at an angle so you can lounge on this tree and like put your back of your head and just feel so supported. And after I wrote that piece, I was like, that's it, that's your sign. That's your sign to start moving and go sit underneath that tree, even if it's just for 10 minutes at the moment and not distract yourself. No phone, no listening to a podcast, nothing. Because like I just say, I don't need any more information right now.

13:00
I need to live what I know and actually show up for myself day after day after day and that every day is gonna look differently, right? Because I'm not searching for perfection, but that constant coherence and that consistency has already gotten, like I can't even say it's gonna get me to where I wanna go. I'm already there. Like I literally feel it in my bones.

13:29
even though let's say there's parts of my life that physically aren't exactly where I want it to be but I'm so okay with that because I know it's coming and I was actually saying this to a friend or maybe I said it on the podcast I don't know sometimes I have way too many conversations that it's easy for me to sit here and tell you guys with full body knowledge

13:59
that your dreams are already on their way, that your baby is already coming. Because I've already lived that experience and that's what I am. I'm an expander for you guys to really deeply get rooted in that. And I was saying it's interesting to now have the conscious knowledge to articulate this stuff and be moving into that deep surrender, coherence.

14:27
and even the divine alignment, right? Not what necessarily I want, but what's divine for me. And having to be the observer of myself during that time as I know it's coming and still show up in the present physical life that I'm living with just concrete, like I know.

14:58
feeling my time of the now being present with joy, love, laughter, good food. You know, I go to the sauna to detox from all the freaking chemicals we're always exposed to, you know, doing those physical things. But from a place of pure enjoy, enjoyness? What enjoyment? Enjoyment. So I hope that

15:24
you really take that and you really start resonating with that frequency that it's here, it's coming. I mean it's come, it's already happened. I'm just getting in alignment. So next week we are going to talk about comfort in the chaos and how when you start really taking that radical action of not living in the chaos anymore, it can feel really terrifying.

15:51
and you are going to be radical, like radically honest with yourself because I know your brain is gonna play little tricks on you like quick, let's obsess about something, let's make a new plan, let's research the 37th best prenatal. You know, before my father came to live with us, I was seeing this repeating pattern in the clients that I was attracting and I love them all. Do not get me wrong.

16:20
but they had, and you'll probably resonate with this yourself, and I know I did this myself, is that I would say, here's the action plan. You don't have to do it all, find what resonates with you, and we would get on a good action plan, and then a month later, they're really like, oh, I found this new specialist that specializes in, I don't know, let's say like SIBO.

16:47
and then I'm gonna do X, and Z and like, oh, they said your plan was really good, but they're gonna like add on A, B, and C. And you know, I am up for collaboration. I am up for, you know, making sure that you have your team in place, but you have to also recognize when you're having those squirrel moments because when you are addicted to the chaos and the drama and the fixing and the science and all that, sometimes when you...

17:17
you know, I don't want to say like, oh my god, my plans are perfect, but like, let's say, let's just go there. I've gotcha. I've put you in this. I've got you, right? Like I have done my due diligence to get you on the path right now that you need to be on. You just got to be there for three months. And sometimes that gets way too scary. And like I said, we have those squirrel moments.

17:45
I'm raising both of my hands because I have been there. So when your nervous system is addicted to that chaos, you know, the stillness and just being like, man, I've got this. OK, I feel good in this. That actually feels dangerous. So next week, we're exploring what happens when there's nothing left to fix and how to receive instead of chasing. We're going to.

18:12
talk about rewiring safety, choosing rest without guilt, and learning to let go of things without inventing a new problem to solve. So please, please come back next week for the final installment of The 10 Truths with Monique, Monica, and Mabel. And remember, your baby does not need you to be perfect. They need you to be present.

18:39
You're not chasing anymore, you are receiving and you are becoming that energy that your baby is willing for you, is rooting so hard for you. So thank you once again for being with me here on Finding Fertility. Have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be.

19:05
Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated, and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point where you are screaming, I have tried everything. Why isn't this working?

19:35
This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom. Because deep down, you know, you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns and listen to their body's ability to come into full

20:04
coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do even before I start really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything.

20:31
But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls. They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me.

20:55
You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams. Obviously D-R-E-A-M-S. And I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself.

21:24
Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.