From Infertility Burnout to Fertility Breakthrough: The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Pregnant

Finding Fertility

From Infertility Burnout to Fertility Breakthrough: The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Pregnant

46:20

 

 Why Your Fertility Journey Isn’t Working (And What Your Gut Burps Are Trying to Tell You)

If you’ve found yourself knee-deep in fertility treatments, Googling every symptom, and wondering why nothing is working despite “doing everything right”—take a breath. You’re not broken. But something’s probably being overlooked—and spoiler alert: it might not be your hormone levels or another expensive test. It might be your voice.

In this episode of the Finding Fertility podcast, I sat down with a long-time client who’s endured over ten fertility treatments. Yes, double digits. But the real breakthrough didn’t come in a syringe or supplement. It came from her finally using her voice.

And oh, it gets juicier. Let’s talk about gut issues—specifically burping. This beautiful woman shared how, despite doing all the right things on paper (functional medicine protocols, diet, rest), her gut health wasn’t improving. Why? Because she had a decades-old pattern of silencing herself. And her gut? Well, it was basically throwing shade in the form of constant burping. 💨

The Gut-Voice Connection (Yes, That’s a Thing)

It might sound woo—but science backs this up. The vagus nerve links the brain and gut, and emotional repression can wreak havoc on your digestive system. Suppressing your truth doesn’t just give you emotional constipation—it can quite literally back up your body.

She realized that not only was she silencing herself in daily life, but she was suppressing her intuition during pivotal fertility decisions—pushing through more treatments even when her gut (literally and figuratively) was saying, “Stop.”

Why IVF Isn’t the Answer (If You Haven’t Done This First)

Here’s the truth most clinics won’t tell you: If your nervous system is in a constant state of fear and fight-or-flight, your body’s not going to feel safe enough to make a baby.

You could be following the most elite protocol from the world’s best functional medicine doctor, but if your subconscious is screaming “I’m not safe,” your body will keep protecting you from pregnancy.

In our session, we explored how deep-rooted beliefs from childhood—like being praised only for being “perfect” and learning to people-please to avoid conflict—created patterns of overdoing, self-abandonment, and emotional shutdown. These patterns didn't just make her feel stuck emotionally. They were impacting her fertility, gut health, and relationships.

Healing Isn’t Just in the Doing—It’s in the Feeling

This episode walks through a powerful subconscious healing technique that helped her release the stored emotion of fear and unsafety she’d been carrying since childhood. She didn’t even realize how much her inner child was running the show—quietly trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and make sure everyone else was okay.

But here’s the thing: if you’re always making sure everyone else is okay, your body won’t believe it’s safe enough for you to thrive—let alone carry a baby.

And no, healing doesn’t mean quitting your life and meditating on a mountaintop. Sometimes it’s standing up to your husband and saying, “No, I’m not going to that restaurant because it makes me feel like crap.” It’s putting up boundaries. It’s recognizing that being the “no person” for a while is actually the way to become the most powerful YES version of yourself.

What You Really Need to Do to Get Pregnant

✔️ Tune into your intuition (even if it whispers and you’re used to shouting)
✔️ Let go of the perfectionism and overachievement badge
✔️ Do the deep subconscious rewiring to feel safe inside your own body
✔️ Heal your gut with aligned protocols and emotional safety
✔️ Use your damn voice—at the doctor’s office, with your partner, and with yourself

There’s no quick fix. But there is an aligned path forward. And once you start showing up as your real, messy, truth-speaking self, your body finally goes, “Ahhh. I can breathe now.”

So if you’ve tried everything, maybe it’s time to try something radical: believing that healing doesn’t come from more doing, but from deeply being in alignment with yourself.

Ready for Your Own Fertility Breakthrough?

If you’re done people-pleasing your way through fertility treatments, and you’re ready to uncover what’s really holding you back, I’m now offering limited Fertility Breakthrough Sessions. These are powerful 1:1 deep dives where we uncover your hidden blocks and get you aligned for real transformation.

Listen to the full podcast episode here: From Infertility Burnout to Fertility Breakthrough: The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Pregnant

We’re Doing This Together,
💚 Monica

Finding Fertility

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Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?

As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨

Full Transcript: 

00:00
Hello, beautiful, and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.

00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's...

00:34
natural power to get and stay pregnant. Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes

01:01
holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday. Welcome back to another episode of Finding Fertility. I'm your host, Monica Cox, and I am so honored you are here becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. I'm really excited. This is a new beginning. I have done quite a few discovery calls in the past, but now they are called fertility breakthrough sessions because

01:27
Because I am moving so differently as a coach and one of my abilities is to really hone in on what the true missing link, what is actually holding you back, revealing that for you. So it's a huge breakthrough when you're able to do that. When you're able to hear that. Sometimes it's really obvious.

01:53
And sometimes there's a little bit more digging that needs to be done. But I used to do podcast discovery calls a lot in the past before my father came to live with us at the end of his life. And it was something I wanted to bring back in. But it's different now. It's different now. So they're a little bit shorter and we're getting right to the heart, the gut of it.

02:21
But this one was a little bit different too, because it was already a client who had a personal fertility breakthrough session with me and she's jumped into the group coaching sessions as well a few times. So I already knew her. But the cool thing was, is that before

02:43
Yesterday I was thinking like, where are we going to go? Where are we going to go? And I was like, all right, don't overthink it. Just surrender. It will come. And she emailed me the morning of, and she was like, I just wanted to do this because I thought it would help me find my voice. And that was the really big thing we uncovered for her is that she wasn't using her voice like at all.

03:13
And when you don't use your voice, meaning you don't speak up for what you're really feeling, you're not setting boundaries, you're also not following your intuition. And when I say this beautiful woman has been through hell and back with a fertility journey, we're talking two figures, so over 10 fertility treatments, which is

03:42
just, in my opinion, far, far too many. And part of that reason was, is because that she just wasn't using her voice and she wasn't standing up for herself, even though, especially in the last few months to year, she knew, she intuitively knew how she was moving wasn't necessarily going to gain her the success that she wanted and she deserves. So,

04:12
I'm really excited to bring you guys this. Hopefully we will do more in the future. If this is something that you're interested in, please jump on the email list and watch out. I probably won't do another call out for them until after the summer holidays. So without further to do, let's get to today's episode. Well, I'm excited for this. Thank you so much for joining us. This is actually the first time I've done one of these.

04:41
with someone I know. Okay, so I have no idea what I'm in for, but. No, and I think that we have a really cool place to go because of, you know, what we've been talking about in our private session and in the group coaching is finding your voice and your ability to say what you're actually feeling because that's been kind of

05:09
a little bit of an issue for you in your journey. Tell me a little bit more about your thought process behind what we've been talking about of not using your voice to the best of your ability during this journey. okay. So I do, by the way, I don't know if this is relevant, but some of my physical symptoms have been obviously very much gut related and but they want the symptoms as burping. So I just find such a weird connection between

05:39
finding my voice and the consistent burping, but I think I lost my voice. right. I had it at one point. I don't think I ever knew exactly.

05:56
fully had it and I think after school and after whatever in life and I didn't even know that I was silencing my voice. That's thing. And I just knew something felt off. And I still have a problem or not a problem but struggle with tuning into

06:21
my intuition and actually knowing what it is I even want to voice then let alone voice again. And I feel like I'm somewhere in the midst of actually being able to or learning to tune in to what the voice inside of me wants to say. And the next hurdle, which I feel like I try to do in bits here and there is actually voicing that.

06:49
or setting the boundaries or making the decisions or whatever it might be. And I mean, leaving my job was a massive, feel like finding my voice in a way, in some way, but.

07:04
But being able, I think I knew for probably the better part of two years that I didn't even, regardless of all the fertility treatments and everything like that, knew that the lifestyle I was living in the career I was in was not helping just my heart and soul. Like I wasn't.

07:34
fulfilled or happy. And I also was obviously very much and still am like, but struggling to get pregnant and all the treatments and was very stressed. And even just like recognizing that myself took me a really long time. And then to even speak that out loud to my husband, which is funny that I felt so much pressure or I guess I guess I put a lot of pressure on myself.

08:01
Because when I did actually speak that out loud to my husband, like he was very receptive to it and supportive. And I thought it would be like the end of the world. I think that you probably thought that because of maybe the way, you know, your husband was patterning around fertility and the way he was expressing how it was like the end of the world if you guys didn't have a child.

08:29
So it's really hard for a woman to stand up and say, like, I want to have a child. And I know that we both think that this medical treatment is going to be the only way because of all the evidence that we've seen. But I want to stop doing this. It doesn't feel good. And not only the treatment, but like your job and the way, you know, the way maybe you live your life together, you know.

08:58
I don't think people are ever ready for the realization that your relationship's gonna change. Whether it's a fertility journey or just parenthood, it is going to change. it's really hard when we don't wanna, well, when we're people pleasers and we wanna make everyone around us happy to stand up for ourselves and really...

09:26
our innate wisdom too, we... It's very different to what society tells us right now. I know I found it very hard to stand up and even say to some doctors like, no, this is real. Like a doctor literally told me once that it was made up science, immune stuff. She's like, that was just, that's made up science. I was like, bitch, I don't care if it's voodoo, it's working. So like, whatever.

09:54
But you get that pushback and people who aren't ready for your innate wisdom, it's just so hard to stand up for yourself. So I think it's a very common thing that us women go through that we don't use our voices. But because we're not using our voices, because we're not standing up for ourselves, we just fall deeper into this fertility hell, hoping it's going to work.

10:23
much. And yeah, I mean, there's two parts to it. Like my guest, my husband, he still sort of thinks it's gonna be the end of the world. And it's like something he has to achieve or whatever. And, know, very type A very competitive, like extreme athlete, extreme fast and everything he does marathon runner, like all the masculine energy in the world. And he doesn't under

10:53
Dan, although he's trying to, he's trying. He's starting to try because he's realized that nothing else is working. Well, yeah, exactly. You have to come to a point. Yeah. But that is still a bridge that we kind of need to cross is talking about him. mean, a lot of times immediate reactions like you don't have to do IVF, but then what are we going to do? How are we going to have a child? What's the next step?

11:23
And we'll always wants the next step. And there's definitely a part, like I want to travel more than anything in the world, but there is also a part of me that's like, I don't think it's going to happen if I just jump right into another IVF cycle right now. think there's something deeper, but I, I'm scared to say that or stop because then I feel like I'm, it might never happen. Yeah. Which.

11:53
I know is something I'm supposed to explore and I could be, feel like I.

12:01
I don't want that and I actually do believe I'll have a child at some point in some way, but I...

12:08
I feel like I can work with that more easily at this stage of my journey than my husband can for sure. Well, let's just pretend even though it's not pretend it's the truth, but sometimes it's hard to handle the truth, right? Let's just pretend that's a made up story in your head. That if you stop IVF, it's not going to work because that's not true.

12:36
just something that you've told yourself. And of course you have the physical evidence, right? Like you haven't gotten pregnant on your own. And I don't even get my period. But here's the thing that you have, you know, that I think that you do understand this. It's just the releasing the letting go part. That's the harder, right? Is that you, you started your trying to conceive journey probably at your sickest.

13:07
And because it didn't work, you threw yourself into fertility treatment, which as you probably know now can damage your fertility even more. And so you're cycling with, know, are still trying to get rid of SIBO, which is small intestine bacterial overgrowth, an issue that I've seen reversed and the women get pregnant naturally.

13:37
It's just a really big stressor on the whole body, just not your gut. So you're dealing with a major gut health issue. That's what I'm trying to say. It's not just a little bit, right? It's a big issue. Your job was cray cray, right? Like, your stress levels were out of this world. You were patterning, let's say, the 30 decades of BS that family and even husband, right? Like, you attract.

14:06
You know what you're vibing on. And so you have that pressure and then you add all the fertility treatment and it's a full-time job fertility treatment. I've seen your file. Like it's So I can, I can easily say with confidence you haven't seen the success you want because you're, just not even in the right like fertility mode or vibration or

14:36
residence or whatever you want to call it. That to me is like you I know it's hard but like that to me is like you wipe it clean. Like this is the starting point. All of that was evidence of things that I've tried. It didn't work but it's not evidence of my future because I'm gonna start moving differently now. Quitting your job was huge right and getting into now what you're doing because

15:04
just a little background for the listeners, you worked with a very amazing or still kind of working with a very amazing functional medicine practitioner, I think even a doctor. And I'm confident in his protocol for SIBO, you know, like that all works. And I'm so grateful that they saw like, Hey, this isn't working. You got to go to the energy side and you switched or not switched. You're doing both because both matter.

15:33
But you're now getting into like, hey, the emotions, the way I'm patterning, I just have to believe it has something to do with it. Because if it didn't have anything to do with it, the protocol and the diet would work. If it was that simple, it would do it, right? That's science. That's pretty clear cut. So when we're talking about things that aren't quote unquote working,

16:02
We have to look somewhere else, but it's having and you have done this already being brave enough because you're going to be looked at like the weirdo now, right? Like, what are you talking about? You need to do that. And standing up for yourself and especially amongst your your partner, right?

16:23
They're supposed to be your biggest cheerleader. And it's really hard when they're not on the same page as you in this book and this journey that you're going on together to have enough. I want to like the only word that comes to mind is balls, which is ironic, but to just be like, I'm doing this. And if you're not on board, that's fine, but I'm going to do it. And I can owe you, I can.

16:52
Like I have bragging rights now. Anytime I come up with something new and a little bit crazy, I'm like, yeah, but I was right about, got help, but I was right about this, so let's just see. And I'm like, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Like no harm, no foul. Like we're not wasting time anymore. And it doesn't cost nearly as much as all the IVF and the treatments that we're doing.

17:19
Okay, so let's get to the core of this and let's shift this for you. Because that even came up recently with him. Like I on recently, I said we were discussing a plan for something and I said yes, and if I go there, I don't want to go to the I'm not, I'm going to opt out at the dinner and not go to that restaurant because I know I always feel terrible after that. It doesn't have great quality food, etc. And I just don't need to do that.

17:48
And he said, well, come on. You can't start just not going to everything. You're going to become the no person. And I said, well, maybe those are the types of our decisions we have to make if we want to have a family. And that sort of shut him up. But that was maybe the first time I said something like that to him. Yeah, absolutely. And that's using your voice, right? That is, you know, drawing your boundaries.

18:16
Look, there is a stage in everyone's journey when they're trying to become the version that they dream of. Rightly or wrongly, we have to make those decisions in a fertility journey, right? I know we see other people not having to make those decisions and they get what they want. I've said it before, I can confidently say everyone who got pregnant easily is going through the thick of it now. And they're going through the thick of it with their kids.

18:44
If you can look at it like, okay, I just have to deal with me during this no phase, during this like rediscovering who I am, boosting my cellular health. I'm going to actually be grateful for that because hand on heart, the friends who I've seen, actually, I could probably only say one person out of like 50 people that I know that continued their journey in elevation because they found it too hard with kids.

19:14
because you have to deal with your kids BS too now, right? It's like, it's just, and your husbands and your family around you, right? When you can just become, have that moment in life where you are radically selfish and you're like, I don't care if people think I'm the no person because then I can become the yes person when I'm a better version and actually we'll all have a better time. Because if I just keep showing up,

19:41
in the version I am now, I'm actually not that fun anyways, right? Like, because you're not drinking, so like, you're very aware of everyone else around you and they're weird, like, you know, when, like, it's different when you stop drinking and everyone else is drinking. It's not that much fun anymore. So you being able to say that to your husband is, is huge. And just keep going with those little steps of what feel right for you and not worry about his judgment.

20:11
or their judgment. I was going to ask you, do you feel like you know where this might be rooted from? Do you feel like it's more of like a people pleasing, like over accommodation, fear of rejection or disapproval? I think all of those things, but definitely people pleasing. I mean, yeah, but I guess a little bit of all of that.

20:38
And I think I mentioned at one point I started doing through the primal trust stuff, learned about IFS and, and started, you know, exploring that a bit more and how, you know, the patterns start when you're young, served me really well for a long period of my life. Um, and always achieving and always going and always doing and always.

21:08
looking, being, acting perfect and trying to keep everybody around me happy. And yeah, I mean, I do think a lot of that stem from childhood and then just got out of control and things. I couldn't keep it all in control anymore because life got too much and too big. Yeah. I mean, it's just like rot, right? Like this, like everything is the same in nature. If you have a little bit of rot, like on an apple and if you cut that raw off,

21:38
you address that rot, the rest of the apple can survive another week or so. But if you leave that rot there and just ignore it, that apple's going to rot. That whole apple is going to rot a lot quicker. That's just how the body is too. And that comes on all levels, the energetic, the emotional and the physical. And we were just taught because I think for

22:06
our parents, like the boomer generation, right? Or maybe some people listening have even Gen X parents. That's how old I am now. Let me just say this, so I don't go into a tangent. They just had better genetics, right? Every generation is getting worse genetics. They grew up with the silent generation, right? They were just told, suck it up, just work hard, all these things. And they just passed that down to us.

22:36
And we, because we grew up in a society that has more chemicals, more stressors, you know, all the stuff, our genetics just were like, I can't take it. And that's why we're seeing this epidemic of fertility issues in women and men. It just, it's snowballed, right? It was, it's been over 200 years. Don't get me wrong. It's not just one generation.

23:02
But now we're seeing the hardcore effects because it just, we got weaker and weaker and weaker. And then our environment got harder and harder and harder on our genes. so, yeah, everyone, right? And we talked about this once, like eventually, if your husband keeps patterning the way he does, he will have his breakdown, right? And it will come in a different form. Our form is fertility issues, right? That's just...

23:31
And it's not even the fertility issues are actually like another symptom of something else. Like there's very minimal people who have true fertility issues. So in your childhood, the, what I was picking up when you were talking about was two things, right? One, it's worthiness because you're doing all these things to seek

24:02
people's validation. And when we're seeking people's validation, where that's where we're instead of source, like empowering ourselves and getting our love and our worthiness from inside, when we're patterning that way, we're outsourcing. So we're getting that like hit of worthiness and all that from them. And then that makes us feel good. So we do more. So this is why like, you know, that book probably went viral, the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

24:31
right? like when you have no f**ks to give, like you are sourced. like you are like you have the energizer bunny in you. and i mean even my husband now from we've been together 25 years and he's like why aren't you freaking out about this? i was like because i have no f**ks. i just don't. like i don't it doesn't matter. it's all made up anyway so i'm just gonna make up that it's not a big deal.

24:56
But it's practice to get there, right? Like this didn't happen for me overnight and I'm still working on it. I'm still not perfect. okay. So that subconscious belief that you have about worthiness, do you feel like there's just an overall big of, you know, just lifelong that's how it is? Or do you feel that you can like bring it down to like, like a core?

25:25
memory or like a core like, oh, my dad always did this or my mom always did that. What's coming up for you when I say you're seeking your worth outside of yourself? think, well, first, let's say I definitely married my husband and a lot of I mean, my husband is my father in a lot of energetic ways, which I know is fairly common. But I think what comes up

25:54
is when I was younger, I think the form of sort of love and compliments and accolades I would get from my parents and especially my father were words in the form of, know, oh, you're perfect. You're this, you're that, but you don't need any help. You don't whatever. You're the perfect child in the family. Like the that. And I think I probably equated that with like,

26:23
Just feeling loved or whatever. felt like I had to, you know, consistently be that perfection. And I mean, so that definitely comes up. And then my mom had to stop working after and actually was a doctor. And I think I didn't really, I didn't respect her as much as my dad for some reason, because I saw him just achieving and working hard and in control. And he was the, whatever the,

26:52
And you talk about a man of a house and yeah, so I felt like I had to fulfill this role of being absolutely perfect and always achieving. And I don't think I ever really, I mean, I did throughout my life. had a wonderful childhood, but there were times I remember I was like really young and my parents were, you know, screaming at each other, fighting about something God knows, you know, but it, was a part of me, I think that wanted to make them.

27:18
Was scared they would leave each other or it just scared me as I don't know how old I was five or whatever it was, you know, and I thought that if I could be happy and perfect or make them happy, everything would be okay.

27:34
Yeah. Exactly. Can you, um, when I was, I remember, I remembered the note. I'm sure it doesn't exist anymore, but I remember writing them a note. I don't know. I might've been in like kindergarten or first grade saying like, please don't fight anymore. Night basically. I'm leaving. I didn't know how to tell them.

28:01
Yeah, that's definitely some internalization, right? Of BS that's not even your own and you, mean, it's classic, right? 101 as a kid, if you are perfect and you don't cause a fuss, you, fear of conflict or confrontation. That's what I'm trying to get at. So you don't say, you don't use your voice because you're afraid that that more conflict is going to come.

28:31
Right? So this is probably multi-layered. Okay. Can you envision yourself as that little girl, whether it's like hearing that fight, writing that letter? You know, there's a bit too where you looked at your mom and just saw weakness and you never wanted to be that because you...

28:58
even though you didn't have the full story as a kid and now you can as like an adult and you can have compassion for her. And, you know, I know there's multi layers behind that story, but, you know, you as a kid internalize, well, that's weak. So I don't want to be that. So what I'm going to do, what my dad's doing because he's strong and that's the overdoing and the, you know, like achieving and all that.

29:24
Okay, so can you envision yourself as that little girl? Like even if you shut your eyes and you just allow yourself to be her again, and all those emotions that come up and can you label those emotions? Fear is a big one.

29:48
I got a lot of fear.

29:54
Uncertainty?

29:57
I guess like lack of safety.

30:03
Okay, so fear and safety are freaking huge, right? And if you don't feel safe, and if you're in that state of fear, you're gonna have cortisol overdrive. You're gonna be in that state of fire flight all the time, right? That's how your nervous system is programmed. That's how you're wired. And that's why it probably feels really uncomfortable for you not to do anything, right? Because you're reverting back.

30:31
looking at your mom thinking she wasn't doing anything, she's not achieving, I don't want to be that. Okay. How do you want that little girl to feel, right? Because we can't go back and change it. That's just life. But what you did is just internalize fear and safety. And all we have to do is flip that to a new emotion. So you're gonna

31:00
This is probably multi-layered, but we're just gonna nail it on the head here as best as we can. So for instance, the first time I flipped a emotion towards an event was I was in the snow and I needed to get inside the house and my little brain internalized it that my parents locked me out of this outside. And like I was in trouble.

31:28
And I mean, I carried around this for like 35 years, right? It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. And so when I was flipping this emotion, it still happened. I can still see it happen. But my emotion attached to it was just grace and peace. It's just like, don't worry, mom and dad will open the door for you. Like they're coming, they hear you, right? Where before, for like 35 years, it was like,

31:57
you didn't you know so that's what flipping an emotion is all about you're not rewriting your past you're just not holding that emotion is just not storing your body anymore so you're gonna remember it and this one I do feel is multi-layered but what I would like for you to do is yeah we're gonna have to are you able to stand up

32:25
We're gonna get you into a whole brain state. And this one, we are gonna use our arms to do the work. So sometimes we like shift a limiting belief or like an emotion by just crossing our arms and ankles and connecting that way. We repeat a statement or we let it go. This one's a little bit more in depth. Every time I'm called to do this with someone, I personally believe one, it's a deep.

32:55
subconscious issue. I feel like there's layers maybe like imprinted in the nervous system. And this makes sense because this was something that happened over a long period of time for you. But also it could have ties to past lives. Because if you believe in past lives, if you believe they happened in the past or all happening right now,

33:20
They have to affect you. It's just like, you can't get away with them. so hopefully this will do. So I'm gonna have you, nothing's crossed, your chin's parallel to the floor, and then your eyes are gonna look down at that 30 degree angle. I want you to put yourself back into that fear and unsafeness. And I'm just gonna muscle test on your behalf of.

33:48
this is safe and appropriate for us to shift this, okay? So just nod your head when you're ready, when you have that sensation, that fear and that unsafe, like feeling unsafe, okay? And then you can open your eyes, just put your fingertips together, allow that to integrate for a little bit. Oh, you can sit down. All right, how are you feeling? Good, I got like weird, good, better.

34:18
like chills almost, but in a good way. Yeah. spine and neck. Nice. Yeah. It's, it's really nice when you actually feel the shift. Sometimes you don't sometimes I going to say I tried the meditation before and I didn't really. Yeah. Yeah. So it's nice to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's funny. Someone said that to me because so you're referring to the meditation inside.

34:47
It's in actually multiple things, the workshop, dreams and fertile mind.

34:55
What I say to people sometimes, you know, like it's sometimes what you're working on is a little bit too big for, you know, it to work. You got to bring it down to smaller sections. And then sometimes it's that kind of like newness, you know, to like a modality. And it's, is different, right? Like it's, it's not really like anything, any meditation you've done before. So what I say, if, you find that meditation isn't quote unquote working, just keep going.

35:24
keep releasing that kind of judgment over, well, I didn't feel anything because we're so, our brains are so used to be like, well, I need to have like this big shift for it to work. And the truth is, you know, if you believe in this stuff anyways, you're, it's working. You know, you're setting the intention to shift something. Your guides, your whatever you want to call it, are doing it for you, right? But it is nice.

35:51
to feel because I've done this so many times for myself. know sometimes it's like, oh, yeah, that one was a good one. That was a good release. So how do you feel right now in regards to, you know, that fear and that unsafety? Is that even a word? Yeah, I was trying to think of the right word. Yeah, because I'm like, that doesn't sound right. I guess I feel unsafe.

36:21
Um

36:24
How do you feel now about even if it was just a little situation or the bigger all situation? A little bit more like I can remove myself from it that it wasn't actually as scary as it felt.

36:48
Yeah, absolutely. Um, cause it's not that I wasn't actually in severe danger or who knows they're arguing about a family vacation. I have no idea, but yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, when we're not dealing with like quote unquote, big traumas, the stuff that maybe our little brains internalized,

37:16
like really weren't that big of a deal, you know, but because we're little and we don't know better and our brains function differently, like they were, and we just need to honor that, you know, as, as adults and we have all this cognitive knowledge and information, we can kind of just like almost like naysay like, no, no, no. And that's what, you know, I see adults do all the time to kids, like, don't worry, it's not a big deal. And I'm sitting there going like, don't say that to them. It could be a big deal for them.

37:44
And so you just have to honor that to your little self because that's what created your nervous system. And your nervous system is the blueprint blueprint of your reality. Your reality is based on how you feel. And if your nervous system was stuck in fear and being unsafe, then that's why you were patterning.

38:12
Okay. So we always bring in a physical action to the energetics, right? It's the whole neurons firing together, wired together type of deal. What do you think really what your inner child needs from you that you consistently can show up and do to reinforce this safety? I think

38:43
consistent.

38:46
checking in whether it's like meditation or just a moment.

38:55
with myself and then also, you know, just working on regulating my nervous system consistently. Yeah, absolutely. It's just showing up for yourself in that consistency. A really cool thing you can do is get a photo of yourself. I'm not sure if I told you this in one of our conversations. So get a photo of yourself as that version of that little girl that you're trying. You know, I've done.

39:23
You know, when we're talking about like inner child stuff, what a lot of people don't realize is just not one version of you, right? It's like conception to like, I'm 43, so yeah, so to 42. Like, pick a version of yourself, right? Obviously from like 16 below or even 18 below, those are the more impactful ones that you need to really nourish.

39:53
So pick a version of yourself that you knew or now you know with the knowledge you have that did feel unsafe and started people pleasing and started not using her voice because she didn't want her parents to fight or anything like that. And put it in a place where you see it multiple times a day. And it's crazy. But when you have her in your eyesight, things will ping up.

40:21
an emotion, like sometimes it will be like just pure joy and like you and you're sit you're basically sending her love and you're just like, I'm just giving you a big hug today. And like you just fill it in your body, right? Sometimes you can look at her and just like feel really sad for her and just be like, man, we really went through some crappy times, didn't we? Like, okay, do I, am I ready to explore another layer of that part of my journey?

40:48
I'm going to sit in journal. Why did I feel so sad when I looked at her today? What comes up? You know, and it's, that's just a really good way to obviously nurture her and you're nurturing your nervous system because that's what it is. But also when we talk about doing the work,

41:11
You're not like forcing yourself like, I, you know, I pattern this way again. So I guess I got to go dig into my BS, right? Like, it's just more of a gentle way of being like, okay, something came up and my subconscious is ready to talk about it and release it. Um, and just when you, you know, you're done with not done, but like, you know, you can move on from that version of yourself when you see it multiple times and it, doesn't necessarily affect you.

41:42
in big ways anymore. And then it's time. Like I need to change mine. I need to like put it on. I grew up when like crimping was cool. You know, those crimpers. So like my mom used to like perm my fringe and then I'd have crimped hair. And I was like, I think I need to put her up now. It's her turn to get started getting love. But I hope this little session has been like really good and

42:11
supportive to your journey. You're doing amazing. I know you have been through hell and back with your fertility journey alone. So the fact that you're still showing up for yourself with grace and just willing to really do this, the work that's going to get you to your ultimate goal is amazing because most people would just be done with it all. And the cool thing is whether or not the baby comes,

42:40
You just get to start stepping into the version you were born to be, right? This is what this journey is about. I have all confidence most women will get pregnant because that's just how the body works. Scientifically, you give it what it needs. It innately knows how to give you a baby. Your job really is like uncovering what you personally need, right?

43:09
personal deep empowerment is what gets you to your old mingle. Amazing. Yeah. All right, my friends, I'm sure I will see you soon. Thank you so much for doing this. I know it's going to be so super supportive to a lot of the women who listen. I hope so. Okay. We'll speak to you soon. Bye. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be.

43:35
Remember I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. And I have something for my loyal podcast listeners, but here's the key. This is only for women who are feeling burnt out, frustrated and stuck in the cycle of endless research. And you're at a point where you are screaming, I have tried everything. Why isn't this working?

44:06
This only works for women who are ready to take a radical responsibility for their journey and start listening to their body's innate wisdom. Because deep down, you know you can heal and achieve your ultimate goal. If that's not you yet, that's okay. Not everyone is ready yet to show up with ease, deeply connect to their energy, unlock subconscious patterns, and listen to their body's ability to come into full

44:35
coherence. But for those who are ready, I'm offering something I only do with my paying clients and this is a fertility breakthrough session. This is the first thing I do even before I start really deeply working with someone in a coaching package. It's a deep dive session where we look at exactly where you are right now, what's keeping you stuck, and the easy shifts that can change everything.

45:02
But fair warning, these sessions are very limited and go fast. So if you're interested in checking out my superpower for uncovering exactly what's been overlooked, jump into one of these free calls. They're deep, they're intuitive, and they're game changing. The only way you can access this is if you actually personally message me.

45:25
You can do it on your favorite platform, IG, TikTok, or at my personal email, monica at findingfertility.co, not .com because they wanted $3,000 for the M with just one word. And that word is dreams. Obviously D-R-E-A-M-S. And I'll make sure you get that link right away. Remember this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself.

45:54
Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below. And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need. Help a sister out. Leave a review today.

From Burnout to Breakthrough: The Real Reason You’re Not Getting Pregnant

https://theinfertilediagnosis.podbean.com/e/from-burnout-to-breakthrough-the-real-reason-you-re-not-getting-pregnant/?token=e4c53e52c757020b37d29d61dcf6ceaa