Balancing Work, Life and Fertility Issues with Jean Tien

Monica

🦩 Get Steps Closer to Getting & Staying Pregnant with EIGHT FREE DAYS within the Fertility Formula

Full Transcript: 

0:00
Thank you for joining me for another episode of the finding fertility podcast. I want to remind you that every Tuesday I re launch one of my favourite episodes that we've done in the past. So if you hear any funny dates, offers or even the podcasts being called the infertile diagnosis, this is why I hope you forgive me for this and enjoy the amazing content we're putting out here on the podcast. And whenever you're ready for more guided support, make sure you go over to the website and check out the fertility formula. This is where I take you through the six vital steps you need to overcome your fertility issues. The formula is an exclusive 10 week online programme packed full of everything I did to get pregnant naturally, using science backed functional medicine, you'll discover the method I take with my one to one clients without the high price tag. start boosting your fertility naturally by maximising all areas of your health today, the monthly membership includes special access to me your fertility health coach, so check it out over at the website, www dot fining fertility.co backslash fertility formula. Hello beautiful and welcome to finding fertility. I'm your host Monica Cox from finding fertility.co And I created this podcast to help get you to start thinking outside of the box and realise that your infertility might have nothing to do with your lady bits rooted in functional medicine and personal experience. Finding fertility is all about looking at the whole body and finding the root cause of your infertility. Finding fertility does not diagnose, prescribe or treat any issues of infertility. But what we do is take a holistic approach and improve your diet and your lifestyle to get you steps closer to creating your dream family. Just by being here with me listening to this podcast. You're already going down the right path to making your dreams come true. Let's do this together. Happy Friday. Oh welcome back to another episode of finding fertility. I am here with Jean today. I'm super excited to have her on. So welcome.

2:23
Thanks, Monica. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. A little bit nervous about being so vulnerable, but excited to be here. Yeah,

2:31
I'm yeah, really grateful that you agree to share your story. Tell us just a little bit about your background first.

2:39
Sure. So I am. So there's multiple parts about me. I've been in corporate for over 20 years have dedicated my life to corporate until recently where I really found this personal development personal growth path to myself. And over the last couple of years, I've become a an intuitive mindset coach that has created a proprietary algorithm to help other executive moms really find the way in terms of success but without the bro hustle.

3:13
Absolutely. I think there is a high level of type A women in the for infertility community, and we are all highly functioning individuals. We're always on the go, go go. And sometimes for a lot of us the first realisation that we might be unhealthy or we're burning out is we can't get pregnant. So I think it is a really big issue within corporate or you know, like high achieving, I don't want to say high achieving because, like everyone's high achieving what they want to do, right?

3:54
Yes, but I think what you like it's those type A personalities that are used to getting what they want. They work really hard for it. Yes. And not getting what they want is just such a unique concept.

4:05
Right? Yeah, very much so. And you just are so blindsided, because a lot of the time it comes from a place of unexplained right, like you have normal periods, like you don't have any really big issues. And then all of a sudden, it's like, well, yeah, there's nothing, nothing wrong and just go do IVF right.

4:28
Yes. Yeah. And you know, and it's interesting, because I think so many of us still operate well still had operated right up until this point where we realised we were having fertility issues. But so many of us had operated under this concept of like, oh, getting pregnant is so easy. All you have to do, right. It's like what they tell you in school. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You have to have birth control. And it's so funny because I have had conversations with my friends who have also had fertility issues and you know, we joke around and say like if we You knew it was not this easy back then. No, it was what we would have done back then.

5:06
Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, with my hindsight, I was probably actually infertile at 17. Okay, yeah, I started having gut issues around 1617. And they really, they got pretty bad around 1819. And I always just thought I was lucky with my long term boyfriends. But yeah, now, it was infertility. Which in, in a way was a blessing. But yeah, I think there's just not enough focus, or I mean, we're barely taught about our periods. We're barely taught about our anatomy. Like, I'm pretty sure I saw more dicks in sex ed than I knew about vaginas, right? We just weren't taught. So why should we know that our adrenals are incredibly important to our fertility, that our fibroid is incredibly important that our gut health is incredibly important. And in reality, those three areas and and maybe your liver, too, if you're if you're drinking lots of alcohol, they're getting really, you know, severely damaged during our high achieving years. And and the doctors don't the fertility doctors, at least don't really look at those areas, when you start going through fertility issues. So you get labelled, and and then the struggle begins. What was your journey with your fertility?

6:44
Yeah, so. So it was interesting, because with my first child, we had tried getting pregnant, I think, for at least six months to a year. I think, really, the first six months, we were just kind of, you know, okay, it'll be fun to have, you know, a child and get pregnant and then really kind of ramped up efforts, right? It got serious about it. It's Monday when it wasn't happening, and we're like, okay, you know what, let's get serious. And it was getting a little frustrating to when, month after month, you would, you know, test and then it would come back, you know, with disappointing results. And so, after having our first child, I actually didn't think I had any fertility issues, to be honest, right? I had never heard of the fact that a follow up or like a second or third or fourth pregnancy would or could even be difficult. And so when we were going for our second child, we had a lot of difficulty. It was a period of extreme stress for both my husband and I. And we, you know, we even thought about and we actually did, we were thinking about IVF. But then I didn't want to do it because I had heard about number one, it was expensive, and we didn't really have the resources at that time to go down that route. So then we tried IUD, and then when I was talking to other and it was like, I was talking to actually male colleagues too, because they had shared with me, I don't remember under what context, but they had shared with me that there, that they were going through fertility issues, and that, you know, they had tried IVF, etc, an IUD. And so then when I was talking with my male colleagues about IUD, and they said, You know, I wouldn't really recommend it, it didn't really work for us. And, you know, we've done it a couple of times, and their friends had tried it, and IUD didn't work for them there. And he, you know, I remember this meal calling, he was like, just go for the IVF. And I was like, well, that'd be great. I can't afford it. So let me try the IUD. And of course, the IUD didn't work. But it made us very stressed out because, you know, what's the right level of sperm count what's, you know, like, and then I'm sitting there on, I mean, it's such a cold hard process, right? Like, it's so cold, and then it's so even, I feel like it's even more disappointing, quite frankly. So, with our second, it took us a very, very long time to finally get pregnant, and then I lost the child. So about it, it was really devastating. It was like six weeks and we were great. And then all of a sudden eight weeks in there was no heartbeat, so lost the baby. And I think you know, I think one of the hardest things to do is to recover from that because the system is not set up to recognise a miscarriage as an actual pregnancy. But your body is set up to recognise a miscarriage as you're totally functioning and having a baby and it's getting ready for that and it's getting geared up for that. So all of a sudden not having a baby, your hormones are totally out of whack, like out of whack. So we took a break and then we decided to try again. So now we have a second one We have our little one and she's six years old. And she is honestly, one of the greatest gifts that I have. And then we said, you know, what, wouldn't it be fun to have another one? Right? And, again, we had issues. And I don't know why we had issues, but we had issues because we thought, okay, after the second and the second one we did, like, naturally, we didn't, we just gave up the IUD, we didn't go for IVF. So I was able to get pregnant naturally. And then with the third one, again, a miscarriage. And it was actually, you know, like this miscarried was actually, I don't want to say was harder than the first one. But it was certainly one of them. I don't know, I don't know, it was different. But this one was set up so perfectly, like, I don't know if it's like too much info, but we had sex on the day of, you know, like, you're supposed to, like, be most fertile. And then it happened. And it happened once and then I got pregnant. And so we're like, oh, my gosh, this will be our miracle baby. Right. Because like, it was so easy. It'll be our miracle baby. But then we lost the child. So, so yeah, so that's my journey through fertility.

11:15
fertility. Yeah, it's a big, big journey. Um, your shift into your coaching now? Do you have hindsight on your fertility? Do you? Do you kind of see, maybe were some health like normal health issues could have been contributing to your fertility struggles?

11:35
Yeah. So and, you know, as I talk to more people as well, like peers and women within corporate who are also very ambitious and career driven, what I have seen is that I think our surroundings in our environment today contribute, I want to say like, 80%, right to the health of our bodies. So I think to your point, the drinking and the liver, yes, that is like an actual connection that I think we can logically make, and rationally make in terms of the functioning of our organs. But I think what we forget is that we as women tend to internalise a lot of the BS, a lot of the toxicity that happens around us. And when we internalise it, what then happens is that our whole body is on a fight or flight mode, right? It's constant stress constant flight mode, and so it's never operating. At a functional point, it's always like, it's kind of like the way you know, I think the easiest way for me to describe it is we can either be like this, right? Like very shallow, like, you know, okay, okay, or we can read like this, like very deep breaths and like, and that's like the way that our body was meant to, to breathe, to truly relax and allow ourselves to be in a state of flow and in a state of relaxation, so that the body can truly operate at its prime. And so So I think going back and looking at the hindsight, looking at the women who I've spoken to, and the men who I've spoken to, right, I think society today has created this culture of Go Go Go and action action action, that we forget that our bodies were never biologically created to operate at this pace.

13:23
For so long. Yeah,

13:25
for so long. And in doing so, we're creating a very toxic environment for our organs, and it's not working the way that it's supposed to. I think the other aspect to it is a very energetic aspect, kind of more of a spiritual whoo aspect to it, too, is that, you know, in looking for answers and looking for why things didn't happen, it's it's really interesting. And I'll kind of share with the first miscarriage that I had, my husband and I were going through a really tough time, we were, we were going through a really rough patch. We were arguing all the time, we weren't getting along. And you know, it was a blessing for us to be pregnant. But I was also worried that I was pregnant, right? In terms of like, what would happen next? Would I be a single mom? And you know, and it's interesting, because my manager at the time was very understanding. And when I when I shared with him that I had the miscarriage and he was like, well, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Right, maybe it's actually a blessing in disguise. And, you know, as I was talking to other people, it was the, you know, it was it pretty much was that like there are certain souls that are coming into this world and they choose not to come into this world for certain reasons, right. And so that was part of the reason. And, you know, the body just couldn't support her and it couldn't the environment couldn't support her. And I think you know, there are very different reasons for why things come into play and things don't so it's It's kind of a very complex look back in terms of like, why things happen the way they did?

15:08
Yeah, I mean, it's like literally, you know, a really crappy thing to say, when you're dealing with fertility issues that things happen for a reason, or, you know, the hindsight aspect of it. But when you surrender, right, when you let go of being type A, controlling every aspect, and you surrender, that is kind of when you're able to look back and, and, and take responsibility, right, and it's not blaming yourself for anything that happened, but just going, Okay, I wasn't doing the best with my, my energy, my time my health, I see that now. So now I have that knowledge, I can take that and start living the way I want to live. But it's only I feel like until you're just ready to accept that, right? Because it's a hard thing to accept. And I mean, I get many comments of people like how dare you say, I caused my infertility? I'm like, Look, I'm not saying that you purposely are doing it. But you are the one picking up the fork, you are the one putting yourself in those stressful situations, you are the one not getting the rest you You are the vehicle,

16:34
right? Through their choices, basically. Yeah.

16:37
And I do think we all grew up in the society where we were girls, and we had to fight. And we had to work harder and prove ourselves. And you know, we're all career driven, or maybe wanted children just later in life. And, you know, the whole myth of, of your a quality, you know, starts going down, because of your age is complete BS, it's because you've wrecked your body, like your cellular Oh, is so bad. And when you're in that state of flight or flight, like you were saying, for so long, your body is on survival mode, and the only thing is now capable of doing is keeping you live. So your fertility is going to be the first thing to go. Because nobody can handle growing a human being while they're running through running from the tiger. And that's basically what we're doing in our day to day society when we're not taking care of ourselves.

17:42
Yeah, no, that's so true. And I think, you know, and I think to what you were saying before, it's it's a hard pill to swallow, right? Because even when we look at it from a very human perspective, right, you take the personal growth aspect out of it, even when you look at it from a human perspective, it's like the women who tend to be the ones that fit the, you know, the description that we're talking about. They're used to being great at everything. And women in the beliefs, you know, that we come right into this world that women are meant to be child bearers. That's our number one responsibility. And it's what our bodies were created for. I mean, that's why men can't, you know, have kids, right, they don't give birth, it's the woman's job. And then so from an aspect of having that as your identity, and that stripped away, so quickly, month after month, after month, it is so emotionally draining. So when you have that on top of the stress of work on top of the stress of like having to, you know, have sex at a certain time, like this whole process just goes. Like it's just like the most horrible process ever.

19:11
Yeah, exactly. And I think on top of that, society has deemed pregnancy as a sign of health, which it's not you know, the crackhead on the street. God bless her soul has taught us that that you don't have to be healthy to get pregnant. And our state of health is so low, like the bar is low in most countries, and so people are really shocked when they have fertility issues because they're like, Well, I'm healthy. And I thought the same thing. But I look back at my 27 to 30 year old self I've been even before that and I'm like, geez, you were so unhealthy. You were you were on survival mode for so long. And it was, it's just the natural way, for the body the way it's built, to say, now, we can't do this. And if I am going to do this, it's highly likely that your child might have some issues, which can be a wide range of things, right to, like, simple issues in the sense of like colicky, and like food sensitivities and things like that to, you know, autism, or severe ADHD, you know, these things can be brought on by a not a good environment to grow. Yeah. And we have to start taking the responsibility for that, I think,

20:45
I totally agree. And, you know, and it's not just like, based off of observation, because if you really think about it, the chemicals in our body is what the babies are ingesting, right, that's what they're sitting in for 10 months, or even longer for the eggs, you know, ovaries, etc. So, it is absolutely connected, like it would be almost impossible to say that one has nothing to do with the other. And I think to your point, people don't want to hear that they don't want to take that responsibility, because they want to say it's due to a vaccine, it's due to a drug use, it's due to whatever the situation is, well, it could be absolutely, it could be, you know, further triggered by it or further on, you know, brought forward by it. But there is still a connection. And, you know, what I've seen, and I don't know if you've seen this Monica, with your kids, too, is that. And I think, you know, to your point, sorry, I know, I just jumped to a whole thought. But like, to your point, like, I think people are so focused when they're dealing with infertility, that they forget that there's a whole life that is created, right, there's a whole level of responsibility that is created once you do get pregnant. And once you are able to deliver the baby, you will have the child and what I've noticed, going back to my original thought, is that like for my first child, I was angry, I was stressed, I was angry. And I remember people telling me don't do that you're gonna like you're gonna pass it down to your kids. And, you know, like, he's gonna be, you know, angry. And my first one is, has like, temper tantrums, like temper issues, like anger issues. And so I think what we so forget is that it's not just about getting pregnant. Yeah, but it's about the overall well being of ourselves so that we can be the best mom right for babies by providing that safe and secure environment for them to grow or

22:49
injure person. Yeah, I am really honest, I would have been a really shitty mom at 27 If I would have got pregnant when I wanted to. I would have been a bad mom. And I am highly confident we would be divorced by now. Because I just had so many passed down traumas and like generational the way you you know, like the way you grow up. And I was completely unaware of it. I didn't think anything of it. And now that I had I was a mandatory nine year journey. And I think entrepreneurship on top of that has really made me dive deep. I'm very much so when I started my fertility coaching, it was about getting women pregnant. Now it's about helping women become conscious mothers and become healthy. So their children are healthy and conscious. As much as possible. Obviously, there's nothing written in stone, I can't No one can predict anything. I know shit happens or genetics. It's all complicated. But it's like getting in your car, putting on your seatbelt, driving within the limits, knowing your situation and doing the best you can. I forget who said it was some kind of I heard it from Dr. Ben Lynch, but he heard it from someone else. And they said people invest more time in planning their wedding than they invest in having a child. And it is if we really start thinking about it. You're literally talking about a day in your life to 8090 years of your child's life. Because a lot of times people have these healthy, healthy babies, and then all of a sudden at 1020 30 These health issues like for me, I had an autoimmune disease at 17 years old and I can tell you exactly how it happened. Like the history of my mom and my dad. It was all like it was waiting to happen right? And women are I'm three times more likely to have autoimmune issues than men. So it is it's, it's much, much more than just seeing the two pink lines. And when you shift your focus on that, on those small goals, your health goals, your mental and emotional goals, your de stressing, you know, you you drawing the line in the sand, you know, no one's saying quit your corporate job to have more of a balance. Those things add up to a healthy pregnancy to a healthy delivery. And, yeah, I mean, I agree with you all my friends who had children easily, and didn't do the hard work, say the same thing as you there are parts of their children's childhood that they knew they weren't being the best mom that they could. And because they weren't consciously aware that they were doing it, right, it was normal, it was how they were raised, or it was acceptable in the corporate field or, you know, whatever. But, um, it is very important. I agree with you.

26:06
And it's so it's so interesting, actually, the one thing I wanted just kind of, if you don't mind, Monica kind of like putting into is that I do think there's an aspect as we mentioned before, there's an aspect of the mom contributing to the welfare and the safety and the health of the baby. But there's also certain I think there's also an aspect where when the soul decides to come in to this earth, right, they choose what their life lessons will be. So there's an aspect of even if they have ADHD, it's not necessarily because of the mom per se, but it could have been their choice before they entered into this world. So I don't want it to say like it's all about the mom. No, yeah, there is that aspect that I also wanted there. Like you know, bring that forward. It's like it's not entirely like the mom's fault but so that's that's the one thing and then with regard in the now I just lost my thought because

26:57
ya know, it's um, yeah, like I said, there's nothing set in stone and I'm like, I have an aunt that literally drawing a chi drink Coke through her whole entire pregnancy. And my cousin is like, a genius, right? She got a full ride to UCLA like, so I'm not saying like, you have to be perfect and, but when you're aware of these things, and you if you are able to do the best that you can, you are just helping your child setup for a healthier life. And yes, I think on that spirit, spiritual side, I when I started doing the spiritual stuff, I always thought it was really interesting that you choose your parents, like, Okay, what life lessons and I've, I've realised at the age of 40, that I chose my parents because I was the one who had to end the generational trauma. And especially on my mother's side, and her mother and all my all my grand ancestors, the women of how repressed we were. And how you know, yeah, and it's it was a it's been a big lesson and a big I was like, Man soul, like this better be your last soul contract because this one was tough. But um, yeah, I do believe. And that's what I feel so special about rainbow babies because I both of my boys are rainbow babies. And my last miscarriage so my second and my last. It was like a big shock, because we had the formula, right? Like, we knew what we were doing. We had good embryos, we had the diet lifestyle, that means as pressing drugs, and I lost that pregnancy, but I look at my second son, and I know that he was supposed to come. And I could only have him if I lost those other two. Okay, write because if those two would have stuck around, he wouldn't be here. Yeah. And I think of that a lot. And obviously, it's the same with the first miscarriage too. But I feel it more. So. Like my miscarriages and my IVF. Baby, they were already created, right? They already knew what they were doing. But my second son was a surprise, natural pregnancy. And I just look at him and I'm like, Man, you really wanted to come. You really wanted to be here with us

29:27
have very strong personalities even more they enjoy Yeah, definitely. They have very strong will. And I you know, it's this is what I was thinking before was this whole aspect of conscious parenting. It's so interesting, because what you mentioned with your aunt who drink Coke every day, I mean, think about our grandparents who smoked every day, you know, you hear about those stories, right? They didn't know any better. That's what they knew at the time. And that's what they were told was, you know, the good thing like with all the marketers coming out saying it's safe. Yeah. That sounds familiar to anybody. I don't know. But But, but yeah, so you know, and then now with conscious parenting, you know, and I think for you, too, right? I don't know if this has been your experience, but being a conscious person automatically translates into, like, you can't not be a conscious parent, like, just comes with the territory. And you start I mean, it just brings it like being a parent is hard enough, being a mom is hard enough. Now, you throw this whole aspect of being a conscious mom. I mean, it's hard. It's hard it.

30:40
And that's why I encourage people to do the work before. Because if you, I did a lot of work before, but I would say I've been doing a lot of work the last three years too. And it was because I realised that my my second son, who is a spirit of me, his crying triggered my repressed traumatic experiences as a kid. And, and I'm talking trauma like, like, not sexual abuse, or physical abuse or anything like that. But just my parents told me to suck it up, stop crying when neither whiners non invited. And I just didn't understand how when he started crying, the rage went, like zero to 100. And I started having to explore that. And yeah, it came to light that it was the emotions that were brought on to me when I would cry as a little girl, right. And so when you're trying to be conscious parenting, this crying child, while you're in a rage, because of your own suppressed emotions, is hard. And you know, it's not about perfection. Like, that is not what we're going here for, it's just about being consciously aware that you do want to make changes that you don't want to put that, you know, the trauma that basically came from your great grandparents are your great, great grandparents, you don't want that anymore for your kids. And I think the whole universe is shifting anyways. And we're coming into a new era. And I just think we need to have men, you know, I have two boys. So I want strong, confident men that aren't afraid to cry, that aren't afraid to show their emotion to show feeling. Because my husband doesn't, he was very much raised that men don't show their feelings. And he's an amazing dad, and he's an amazing husband. But he definitely has this wall up. And I don't want my boys to be like that in it. And it's hard. Because when you were both taught, suck it up. Like it's hard not to say that was how

32:55
we were taught. But that's how we were taught, right? And I hear myself saying it to my kids to like, why are you crying? And then I'm like, Oh, wait, it's okay to cry. Yeah, hold on a second. And your your boys are lucky, I feel so bad. For my first one. I like when we first had him, it was just pure human like, and the trauma that he went through, and I look at him sometimes. And I'm like, gosh, it would have been so different. If like, I was actually on my spiritual or conscious path, before we had you, if I had done the work, I think it would have been so different, like he would not be triggered by the same things he is now. And then the other thing that makes me feel a little better, too is that these were his choices when he came in through to write there are certain lessons that he can't avoid, either. But again, that's not a crutch nor an excuse. But I think there are certain things that were just meant to happen the way that it happened. And I'll trust that that's what was meant for him. But now that we have like this greater understanding, or I have this greater understanding, it's really, really interesting, because it's not just about you and your kid anymore. It's about your husband, your husband and your child and your children. And it's about you, your husband, your children and their friends and the school system. And, you know, like it's a whole, it's, you see this very complex web that we bring them into and these lessons that they bring to our attention and you know, like we have to support them through it too. Right, both from our side and also from their side. And I know this is a little kind of like far off from the from the fertility issues, but it is a very interesting aspect of raising a child or child in today's society.

34:43
Yeah, I mean, I think my followers are just really highly educated and really interested in hearing this because they will become mothers. And after the infertility journey, I mean, this is you know, long term goals for finding fertility is Fertility found? And what how do you move through motherhood after infertility? And, you know, using those tools that got you there and continuing on because I thought I had it pretty nailed. I'm like, I have 20 years experience in childhood education, I have my mindset, I have the diet, I've got a stable husband stable job, actually was hard. So I think the support and just having this knowledge and being real about it, because I think a lot of times people think infertility will save them from the pitfalls of parenthood in today's society, and it just doesn't. And if when you're moving through, you know, your own issues and through infertility, and if you can really just shift those things around. It doesn't make it makes it easier, you know, but it doesn't save you because yeah, parenthood is really hard in this day and age, and I don't really foresee it getting easier for a while, you know?

36:11
No, I think there's a lot of like you said, there's so much transition happening. I think it's going to be a brand new space for all of us. And yeah, in terms of like, you know, we see it today, right with our youth, they're not necessarily our youth as in like six or 10 year olds, but our youth as in the millennial generation, or the generation that comes in right now with, I don't know what's going What's the youngest generation called anymore. I've lost track. But it's like generation after generation, they bring a whole new perspective into this world. And so our kids are next and yeah, you know, like, what are we going to do with it, we can either sit there and be grumpy and say, like, this isn't how we grew up, or, you know, we can kind of evolve along with society, right? Or with the kind of how the energy is shifting?

37:00
Yeah, exactly. And the more you're prepared and willing and open and honest with yourself, I think your journey is just going to be that that much easier, for sure.

37:13
And I love the fact that we're having this conversation, Monica, because we don't get guidebooks or handbooks or graded or how tos on any of this, right? And so like the fact that you and I can sit there and have a conversation, and other people can hear it through technology today, right? Because we didn't I didn't have this 20 years ago or whatever. And it's like and learning and saying, like, Okay, I'm not the only one, right, like, you're not the only one that feels like my body has failed me. I'm not the only one that feels like I failed. Myself, my family, my sis like in society as a whole. I'm not the only one. That puts too much pressure on myself. I'm not the only one that's going through this. And I think that's the biggest part too. Is it? Like, people don't want to talk about it. Right? Because there's a level of shame to it, but there really shouldn't be. And I think part of the problem too, is that because corporate culture so male dominated, especially in the in the corporate space that I'm in, who do you talk to you? I'm not gonna go to my male manager. And actually, you know, it's so funny, because after my second miscarriage, I did I do share, because I'm like, you know, listen, I went through a miscarriage, and they're like, and you know, their response is perfect in the beginning, oh, if you need anything, let us know. But then they expect you to bounce back to normal hormone levels a week after and for you to go back to like, normal behaviour. No, like, it doesn't work that way, right. And then I remember a month after that, I actually had like, an emotional flare up, because he, like my manager at the time, he was pushing me and kind of like provoking me and like, poking me with a stick. And I responded, not in an aggressive way, but in an emotional way. And the way he behaved was if I was like, a, like a grizzly bear about to attack him. Right? And, you know, like, these are the things that like, it just doesn't get talked about, or understood. Yeah, enough, when it comes to being an executive mom who's going through these issues and being emotional at work, and having somebody understand that, you know, there's a reason behind it, and hormones just doesn't bounce back like this. And hormones take a while to rebalance to reshift your body is still thinking it's pregnant, or at least getting you know, like kind of coming off of it. So if I had somebody to talk to at the time, who said and I did luckily on the second time, but like if I had somebody to talk to at the time, who would have said, It's okay, Gene, your hormones are still behaving. And I remember when my friends did tell me that I was like, No way. It's like a month or two after like, Are you kidding me? And they're like, no, go Find it takes a while to like, get it back to normal and you need to be nice to yourself. Yeah, like, stop, right? And then so then I understood like, okay, it's not me, I'm not broken. I'm not messed up. I'm not, you know, like, I'm normal. Like, I'm normal. Yeah. And that takes so much of the stress away from this whole process. So it's amazing that like, you know, you and I can talk about this. You and I have had kids, but yet we've also dealt with the fertility issues. And, and I'm so glad that like, if somebody's listening, you know, my only goal or hope is that, like, they'll listen to this and be like, I'm normal. It's okay. Yeah, you know, and let me not think I'm broken, because that's the hardest part. Like, that was the hardest part about the first time we were dealing with infertility, because it was like, I'm such a failure, unbroken. Like, I can't even my body can't even do what it's supposed to anymore. Like what?

41:00
Yeah. Yeah, it is. And I think that's what the empowerment is all about is like, once you realise that you have control over that, and you can do things then everything starts to shift for you. And it's really important, especially in those, like those corporate roles, to give yourself grace, you know, to have those sick days to just like almost wear a sign just miscarriage awareness. Like, I might be a bitch. Like, and let me be that. Because it's just it is not only a physically hard time, but a mentally hard time. And I don't, I know that I never took the time to really grieve, especially my first miscarriage. It was a very much, I was still kind of operating by that. Get on with things type of thing. But yeah, it's very, very important. Thank you so much for coming on. This has been such a lovely conversation. Yeah. Please tell the listeners where they can find you. Oh,

42:12
yeah, sure. I have a website. It's June tn.com. So if they need to reach me, there's a contact form there. And then I also have my own podcast, which you will be on Zune. So I'm so excited to have you. And they're called being unapologetically authentic with Jean tn. And so Monica will be on to share her story and to talk about fertility as well, when it comes to authenticity and success as well. So happy to invite anybody, you know,

42:43
yeah. No, it's gonna be good. I'm super excited. Well, once again, thank you so much, the links to where they can find you are going to be down in the show notes. Awesome. And yeah, once again, thank you so much for coming on and connecting with us and sharing your story.

42:57
Thank you.

42:59
Thank you once again for tuning in to the finding fertility podcast. If you're loving this podcast, please leave us a rating and review and let us know how this podcast is supporting you to get steps closer to creating your dream family. I hope you have a beautiful weekend and we will see you next Friday for another episode of the finding fertility podcast.

Connect with Monica over on:

• Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG
• TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

• Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE
• Google: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYGOOGLEPLAY⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣   
• Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER
• Spotify: http://bit.ly/FFSpotifyPodcast

🍍

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.