Week 6: Why Slowing Down Can Feel Unsafe During Your Fertility Journey
There is a version of you that never stops moving.
Not because she has to.
Because stopping feels unsafe.
She is organized. Reliable. Admired.
She is the one who carries it all.
And she is tired in a way sleep does not fix.
Overdoing rarely looks like chaos.
It looks like competence.
It looks like saying yes when no one else steps up.
It looks like keeping things running so nothing falls apart.
It looks like being praised while your body tightens.
This pattern is not a flaw.
It is a strategy.
Movement creates momentum.
Momentum creates safety.
Stillness asks questions effort keeps quiet.
Especially in fertility.
Especially after IVF.
Especially when your nervous system has learned that control equals survival.
Overdoing becomes a way to stay regulated.
A way to avoid the sensation of not being needed.
A way to stay ahead of the grief you have not had space to feel.
This is not about doing less.
It is about noticing more.
Noticing how quickly you fill empty space.
Noticing the discomfort when nothing needs you.
Noticing how worthiness has been tied to effort.
These patterns soften when they are seen.
Not challenged.
Not shamed.
Seen.
You are not lazy for wanting rest.
You are not broken for craving stillness.
You are not losing momentum by pausing.
Sometimes the most regulated thing you can do is let something stay undone.
Let the laundry sit.
Let the silence stretch.
Let your body feel what it has been holding together.
There is nothing to fix here.
Only something to finally stop running from.
And when you do, something inside you exhales too.
Listen Now: Why Slowing Down Can Feel Unsafe During Your Fertility Journey
Week 7: Fertility Burnout and the Identity of Overdoing Everything During Infertility & IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today
Connect with Monica over on
Youtube || Instagram || TikTok
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple || Stitcher || Spotify || Google
Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday, y'all. Welcome back to another episode.
01:07
completely honored you are here with me because
01:13
This is a threshold week. You have seen over the last five weeks how control has ruled your life, this control pattern, and hopefully has softened enough that you're going to see that overdoing can now be observed without defensiveness. This week, your invitation is to notice one place where you keep yourself in motion, not because it's required.
01:42
but because stopping feels uncomfortable. I want you to notice the moments, whether it's in the kitchen, at work, at your home, in your fertility journey, wherever it is, where do you keep yourself busy? And this may be where you recognize yourself the most clearly. Overdoing rarely feels extreme. It doesn't look chaotic. It mostly looks capable, organized.
02:11
and responsible. Overdoing is the kind of effort that earns you praise. It's that whole, she's super mom or I don't know how she does it all. When my kids were in school and it was the kind of end-ish of the second year I volunteered for the PTSA, I said to them, don't do it if you don't have the time to do it. And these women, all of them except one teacher,
02:39
in the whole room looked at me like I was crazy. And they were just like, what do you mean? And I was like, if no one else is stepping up, say there's 10 tasks that need to be done, you're willing to do all of those tasks, but you are now burnt out. And so you're asking other people to step up. So you're saying, hey, I need seven people to help out. I'll do the other three. And if no one's willing to help out, don't do it. Just don't do it.
03:07
And it wasn't a light bulb moment for most of them. It was just like this horrendous, are you talking about? We cannot do it. I was like, it doesn't matter. It's not life threatening. The kids' lives aren't gonna be, they're not gonna end up in therapy because the PTSA didn't show up for them in school. It's just, it was wild. I have friends who will be like, oh my God, that mom does X, Y, and Z. She's so amazing. And I just sit there quietly. I'm not judging. This is just reality.
03:35
She is on an antidepressant and she's frazzled and stressed out, but she just keeps doing because that's the way her nervous system stays regulated. Movement creates momentum. Momentum creates a sense of safety and slowing down can feel like losing control. So overdoing becomes a way to cope.
03:57
not because you don't trust yourself, but because stillness asks you to feel what effort keeps at bay. And this is closely, if not completely linked to worthiness and self-love and a martyr pattern. So this week is not about doing less. I'm not telling you do less. Remember, this is about becoming the ultimate observer right now. It's about noticing where movement
04:27
is automatic, where you just go into overdoing and hustling because your default frequency, that is your autopilot. Notice the task you add when you could just pause, where you could just relax. Notice how quickly you fill the empty space. Notice how uncomfortable it feels to stop without a reason and just feel that discomfort. Or notice...
04:56
what your frequency, what your emotions, what your stories are running as you're doing those tasks. Not to analyze it, not to fix it, not to judge yourself, just to let your body register it and become aware. Awareness is the first step to change. And overdoing? When women tell me like, I'm just that way. Absolutely not. I'm sorry, it's not a personality trait.
05:23
It's not in your genetics from your mother or from your grandmother. It's a pattern. You saw someone else run and that's how it is. You just absorb that and you start running that yourself. Those patterns can start softening when you see them without judgment. So you can ask yourself, do I need to move right now? Do I need to do this? Now it's gonna piss some people off in your life, right? When you tell the PTSD. eh
05:50
We don't need to do that. Or if other parents aren't willing to give 10 % to this, then zero. We are not overdoing it. I know it was a little bit unsettling for my husband and not in a bad way, but like the old me, the house was spotless. I was controlling the whole house. The laundry, the kitchen, the pillow on the couch. Right, perfection.
06:18
I can now let a laundry basket sit there for four days and get wrinkly. And it just doesn't frazzle my nervous system anymore. Because I know it will get done. I'll do it. But I'm not going to overdo it for this illusion of perfectionism and that I've got it all together. It's just not going to happen anymore. So people around you might be pissed off that you're not hosting the Christmas dinner. You're not doing the things that you used to. You're not over controlling their lives. So you can ask yourself,
06:48
Do I need that movement right now? That's enough for this week. Awareness, like I said, becomes the key for change, always. And as I've hinted on before, and you might know this, when we move into week seven, when you see all this overdoing, it's absolutely tied to worthiness and identity. And next week, we are gonna dive into that a little bit more. Have a beautiful week of awareness, and I'll see you next Friday.
07:19
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below.
07:46
And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need.
