Week 3 :: The Subconscious Patterns Running Your Fertility Journey on Autopilot
You don’t feel stuck because you are doing it wrong.
You feel stuck because you are doing it automatically.
Most women I work with are not reckless or disconnected. They are efficient. Capable. Always one step ahead. Their nervous system learned very early that safety lives in anticipation.
So control stopped feeling like control.
It started feeling like responsibility. Like maturity. Like being good.
Fertility has a way of interrupting that illusion.
Not to punish you. Not to break you. But to get your attention.
Not in the dramatic moments.
In the quiet ones.
The way you move through your morning without being there.
The way your mind is already solving the next problem while your body is still in this one.
The way you brace for what could go wrong even on a good day.
This is not wrong.
It is familiar.
And familiar patterns shape your nervous system far more than big emotional breakthroughs ever will.
Most of your life is lived in repetition.
That is where your frequency is formed.
That is where your body learns what to expect from the world.
You do not become the creator of your reality by overpowering these patterns.
You become the creator by noticing them.
Not with judgment.
Not with discipline.
With honesty.
Fertility struggles are often the body waving a flag.
Not because it does not know how to get pregnant.
But because something about the way you are living no longer matches what life is asking of you.
For some women, the physical work is the doorway.
For others, it is the deeper patterns that would eventually surface in motherhood anyway.
There are souls that wait for us to soften.
Not so we can be perfect.
But so we can be present.
You do not need to slow down on purpose.
You just need to notice how fast you already are.
And let that awareness do the work.
No fixing.
No managing.
No forcing yourself into a new version of you.
Just permission.
Permission to live from a different place inside.
And that is where things begin to change.
Listen Now: The Subconscious Patterns Running Your Fertility Journey on Autopilot
Week 4: The Illusion of Control in Infertility & IVF and Why Less Is Not Giving Up
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
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Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday y'all, welcome back to another episode.
01:07
I am so grateful that you are here. Week three, becoming the conscious mama you are born to be. Now remember, I know this might feel so slow. And if you are screaming like, come on, a little bit more knowledge, a little bit more doing, this is your invitation to just keep noticing how this makes you feel. I know that I was stuck.
01:36
way longer in my fertility journey and in my entrepreneurship journey, my motherhood journey because I was not only addicted but wired to running so many different control patterns which I'm still working on guys. I'm still in the thick of this with you. I truly know that when I started this work and as I continue to still move through this work that it has changed so
02:05
so much for me. And there's still a level of clearing. And I think this is why it feels different for me. I have done a lot of clearing in subconscious beliefs, stuck emotions, either through Psych K, which I'm trained in, also emotional freedom tapping, breath work, somatic work, dancing. And that is important in the journey as well to show up when it feels right.
02:35
not when you are trying to control the outcome. So this week is all about taking control out of the big moments like we did in the first two weeks, recognizing where the hyper control is. And I want you to bring that awareness into the ordinary ones. This is where most patterns actually live and why we can still feel
03:05
It's not in the big decisions. It's not in the dramatic moments, but in the way you live through your day without thinking. Making breakfast, checking your phone, planning the week, moving from one task to the next. This is where control becomes almost invisible. And you feel like I have to control that part of my life. It just doesn't feel like control here. It feels like habit. Efficiency.
03:35
Being on top of things. And that's why it matters so much because once again, it's the frequency behind the doing that we are becoming rad observers of. I want to restate this. You cannot become the creator of your reality through the over-controlling, through the overdoing. If you do not become radically aware of the patterns, emotions in the first place, it just doesn't work.
04:05
Trust me, I tried. I thought transformation happened when I tackled the big stuff and it did. Don't get me wrong, stuff moves. But your neurons that fired together, that wired together, I just totally butchered that phrase. But you know what I'm saying? Your nervous system, your patterns, your autopilot, it was shaped by the repetitiveness of life.
04:35
Yes, some of those intense moments had a big impact, but it wasn't the thing that shaped everything. It was all those little micro moments, and now we are just recognizing those and reshaping those. So this week, I want you to notice one mundane moment in your day when something you do is just automatic.
05:01
and you don't overthink it, but now you're watching how are you doing it? How are you rushing without needing to? How are you mentally ahead of your body? Because us women are programmed to be a thousand steps ahead. Are you already planning the next thing while you're still in this one? And look, I'm gonna put both my hands up.
05:26
In my fertility journey, before everything was said and done, I had controlled the shit out of the like several options. What can happen next? If this fails, XYZ. If this works, XYZ. If this doesn't happen, I'm going to do XYZ. You know that one. And this isn't wrong. It's just familiar. This is the patterns I was running up until I chose to see them and go.
05:55
That is not working for me anymore. And here's the quiet truth most of us miss. You don't need a new mindset. You need to notice the place you live inside. Noticing how you are in autopilot and how you are doing things is what is going to get yourself out of the reality that you obviously are aware of. And remember, fertility struggles.
06:24
It's just your way, the way your genetics was waving its flag. Like, look, it's not working. I innately know how to give you a baby, how to get pregnant, but I don't have the right tools right now. So I'm waving this flag. I need you to see what's not working for us. And for those who have conquered the physical, I think you're just being asked to go deeper.
06:54
So you don't have to deal with some of the BS that you don't even know that you're running that will hand on heart come out in motherhood. I think you just have souls waiting for you asking, no, let's get that shit done before I come mama. Because it's so much harder. Take it from me. My IVF baby just turned 10. There are things that I don't judge myself for, but I'm aware of them that I did not do.
07:23
that I wish I would have. But I keep reminding myself that my baby chose a callie when it was ready. are journeying through this together. This week, I want you to just choose one ordinary moment and let yourself be fully there. Not perfectly, not slow on purpose, just honest. Feel it in your body. Notice it. Don't judge it. And remember to set that little reminder for yourself, whether it's in your phone, a post-it note, a bracelet.
07:53
whatever it is, to remind yourself that we are becoming that radical observer of our lives so we can truly take the right action for us to start being the ultimate creators of our reality and create the family of our dreams. Remember, we are trying to be here. We are returning to presence that does not require effort. We are giving ourselves permission.
08:22
to live a completely different way. That is what we're practicing. Okay, my beautiful friend, until next week four, which we are going to explore what happens when you don't fix, don't push, or don't manage. This creates intrigue and softening, which we all desperately need.
08:50
Have a beautiful weekend and we'll see you next Friday. Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition.
09:17
make it possible. The links that you need are down below and if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need.
