Week 7: Fertility Burnout and the Identity of Overdoing Everything During Infertility & IVF
There is a moment when slowing down does not feel peaceful.
It feels edgy.
Exposed.
Almost unsafe.
Not because something bad will happen.
But because of who you might be without the doing.
For many women, overdoing is not something they do.
It is who they are.
The capable one.
The reliable one.
The one who holds it all together.
That identity carries worth.
And when worth is earned through effort, rest feels undeserved.
So the body stays busy.
The mind stays alert.
The nervous system never fully lands.
You might notice it as guilt when you rest.
Unease when nothing is urgent.
The pull to justify your time instead of simply inhabiting it.
None of this is wrong.
None of it needs fixing.
It is simply a pattern that once kept you safe.
And now quietly asks to be seen.
When worth depends on productivity, the system never rests.
It keeps giving.
Keeps managing.
Keeps proving.
Eventually, depletion follows.
Not because you failed.
But because effort was never meant to be the source of value.
Soft awareness changes things.
Not through force.
Not through discipline.
But through recognition.
When you notice the identity without dismantling it, something loosens.
The doing becomes a choice.
Not a compulsion.
And in that space, the body exhales.
The nervous system softens.
And you remember that being has always been enough.
Nothing to solve here.
Just something to feel.
And let breathe.
Listen Now: Fertility Burnout and the Identity of Overdoing Everything During Infertility & IVF
Week 8: Overdoing, Urgency & the Illusion of Running Out of Time During Infertility & IVF
Let's Do This Together 💚
Monica
Listen up, lovelies: Everything I share about health, diet, or fertility magic is my opinion. Yep, it’s all based on years of trial and error, study, reading, listening, and side-eyeing the nonsense out there. What worked for me might be a jackpot for you—or it might be a total flop. Bodies are weird like that. 🤷♀️
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not a doctor, nutritionist, dietitian, or any other kind of licensed health wizard. If you need medical advice, run—don’t walk—to an actual qualified professional. Don’t come back here saying Monique told you to eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, okay?
As for the products I mention, they’re either what I used during my own infertility rollercoaster or what I wish I’d known about back then. No guarantees, no promises, and absolutely no refunds on your hope budget if it doesn’t work out.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, proceed with curiosity and, above all, discernment. You’ve got this. 💪✨
🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today
Connect with Monica over on
Youtube || Instagram || TikTok
🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple || Stitcher || Spotify || Google
Full Transcript:
00:00
Hello beautiful and welcome to the Finding Fertility podcast.
00:10
I'm Monica, your mentor in uncovering the hidden layers of your fertility journey. Together, we'll discover the right path for you within the six essential steps to creating the family of your dreams. We'll ditch the overwhelm, tune into your intuition, and build a vibrant foundation for your fertility. Whether it's through gut health, subconscious healing, or energetic alignment, you can unlock your body's natural power to get and stay pregnant.
00:37
Your fertility journey is all about radical responsibility and deeply believing that your body is on your side. It's time to stay consistent, embrace trust, surrender, and create the transformation you deserve. Fighting fertility does not diagnose, prescribe, or treat any fertility issues. What we do is empower you to take control of your health by uncovering the root causes holding you back. Let's do this together. Happy Friday, welcome back to another episode.
01:06
I'm so honored that you are here with me. Week seven, becoming the conscious mama you are born to be. I really hope that you guys are getting way more out of this than you ever thought you were gonna get and you're really becoming that ultimate observer. This week, we're gonna notice one moment where slowing down feels uncomfortable, not because of consequences, but because of who you might be without the doing, okay?
01:36
So last week, we noticed overdoing as movement, as momentum, as a way to cope. This week, we go one layer deeper because for a lot of us, and I know this was so true for me, and I know for many women, overdoing is not just something they do, it's who you are.
02:03
being capable, being reliable, being the one who handles things. It's your identity and you over identify with the one that does everything for everyone. And that identity carries worth. So slowing down doesn't just feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable. It feels threatening, not because things won't get done, but because a quiet question shows up underneath.
02:33
If I'm not producing, if I'm not managing, if I'm not actively contributing, then who am I? This is rarely conscious. You might notice it as guilt when you rest, unease when nothing is urgent, the pull to justify your time instead of just being. This week isn't about dismantling that identity. It's about seeing it clearly.
03:03
I want you to notice the moments where you keep doing even though nothing is actually required of you. And instead of asking what needs to be done, ask yourself something softer. What am I afraid of? If I stop, when am I afraid of losing? What would be lost? And ask yourself or feel into your body. How did that feel? Because worth, that depends on effort.
03:32
is exhausting and you all know that. It's never the same input output and you just get depleted. And this is why so many women feel empty because they kept giving and giving without taking care of themselves and another caveat without feeling worthy to receive support from others. So ask yourself, what does it feel like to be the person
04:01
that doesn't overdo everything, your fertility journey, your family life, your job, and who are you trying to be right now? And is that perfection, that overdoing, actually working out for you? We're not correcting it this week, we're just noticing it. And by identifying what you identify, we talk about this in the course in Fertile Energetics, the embodied action phase.
04:31
Over-identifying with anything leads to disease. When you're able to loosen that identity around, well, I'm just that way, this is who I am, the doing becomes a choice instead of compulsion. This might be a really deep week for you, and you might need to tap into the modalities that you know work for you.
05:00
and really explore your identity around overdoing and where you need to start doing the softening work. Just be aware this week though. And next week, we're gonna look at the overdoing is driven by time pressure. So have a beautiful week. Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next Friday.
05:25
Thank you once again for tuning in and becoming the conscious mama you were born to be. Remember, I wasn't some magical unicorn who stumbled into fertility success. I stayed consistent. I put in the work and I made it happen. And guess what? You can too. Remember, this transformation happens when you stay committed to yourself. Trust your body, follow your intuition, make it possible. The links that you need are down below.
05:53
And if you are still here and you absolutely love this podcast, please take some time and leave me a review and help other women like you find this podcast to get the support they need.
